Hopeless

by Colleen Hoover

watch as the girl in the mirror stares back at me, sobbing pathetically.

I’ve made it thirteen years with Karen and have never been grounded; I don’t want to give her any reason to start now.

I hope.

I think it’s safe to say he’s not here for my stimulating conversation.

“Funny how we’re whores because you didn’t get laid. Assholes.”

“Tell your daddies I said thank you.” I walk past the clique of girls (that are no longer giggling) and ignore their glares.

Hopeless

You can’t get mad at a real ending. Some of them are ugly. It’s the fake happily-ever-afters that should piss you off.”

“Because I like to clarify things with you before I believe them.

“I’m really not any good at this whole dating thing, and I don’t even know if this is a date, but I know that whatever it is, it’s a little more than just two friends hanging out, and knowing that makes me think about later tonight when it’s time for you to leave and whether or not you plan to kiss me and I’m the type of person who hates surprises so I can’t stop feeling awkward about it because I do want you to kiss me and this may be presumptuous of me, but I sort of think you want to kiss me, too, and so I was thinking how much easier it would be if we just went ahead and kissed already so you can go back to cooking dinner and I can stop trying to mentally map out how our night’s about to play out.”

Her over thinking makes me nervous...

“Sky, I’m not kissing you tonight but believe me when I tell you, I’ve never wanted to kiss a girl more. So stop thinking I’m not attracted to you because you have no idea just how much I am. You can hold my hand, you can run your fingers through my hair, you can straddle me while I feed you spaghetti, but you are not getting kissed tonight. And probably not tomorrow, either. I need this. I need to know for sure that you’re feeling every single thing that I’m feeling the moment my lips touch yours. Because I want your first kiss to be the best first kiss in the history of first kisses.”

He pushes me back against the refrigerator and brings his lips dangerously close to mine. The smile is gone from his eyes and is replaced by a very serious expression. An expression so intense, I stop breathing.

and the anticipation of them alone is enough to paralyze me.

I’ve never felt so helpless and out of control of myself, and if he doesn’t do something within the next three seconds, I’m more than likely going to pounce on him.

He could kiss me for the first time, or the twentieth time, or the millionth time and I wouldn’t care if it was a first or not, because I’m pretty sure we just broke the record for the best first kiss in the history of first kisses—without even kissing.

“I’m not apologizing to you… because I don’t want you to forgive me.”

You were supposed to be protecting me from the people like you!”

“Officer down at thirty-five twenty-two Oak Street.”

It’s a high-pitched noise, like a scream.

It sounds like a girl screaming. It’s me. I’m screaming.

pick the picture up between my trembling fingers, looking at a woman who could be no one else but the person who created me. From my mouth to my eyes to my cheekbones, I’m her. Every part of me is her.