Bite Me! - You Know I Like It (Spooky Boys #1)

by Fae Quin

Right now, my body composition was almost eighty percent righteous indignation.

I was a five-foot-nothing ball of rage. I ran on plant fuel and sarcasm—even dragging a thousand-pound chain of trauma behind me, I still only weighed about five pounds soaking wet.

Looking at Blair Evans was like staring into the sun. Too long, and I was sure he would blind me.

Blair was a hurricane, a storm, a natural disaster. Beautiful and world-shattering, with the power to rewrite the future and repaint the past.

It wasn’t my fault I looked like a goth toddler. Okay, so maybe it was. But it was better than looking like a regular toddler.

“You’re a fucking badass. Even though you look a bit like a wet rat right now and people say black cats are kinda unlucky. That’s okay. I’m kinda unlucky too.”

Jesus fuck, it was like going through a second puberty. Except I was twenty-five and a vampire, and Jesus god I had no idea how to deal with the feelings that were bubbling like Vesuvius inside me.

“Hi,” I said, because apparently I was both stupid and socially inept.

He was so fucking pretty I wanted to crush him like a petal between my fingers. What the fuck. What the fuck, Richard?

Hangovers and murder were probably the worst combination ever. A cocktail of misery.

Vampire? Maybe.

Vampire? Probably.

liked Richard. Which was why I needed to stay as far away from him as possible. I’d go back to avoiding him tomorrow.

God, Richard better not sparkle like Edward fucking Cullen or I was going to have to do something drastic. Like burn the city down.

Did he want to suck my blood? Probably.

Did I want to be Richard’s chew toy? Fuck yes. Was it going to happen? Probably not, but a boy could dream.

The fact he was strong enough to move me around like a Barbie Doll wasn’t lost on me. Or my dick. Down boy.

Richard was a cocoa wielding, flannel wearing, sex machine who may or may not be undead.

We made a funny group. One giant, one half-giant, and one hobbit drowning in twenty pounds of black fabric.

I had to grab the legs of my borrowed sweatpants like a medieval woman would her skirts, waddling around so they wouldn’t slip off my ass and onto the ground.

Richard gave me hope, and hope was a dangerous, dangerous thing for a person like me to have.

Either something was seriously wrong with me, or I was in love with Blair Evans.

Chastity had just informed me that Richard had officially quit three days ago and I was going to fucking blow a gasket if the reason he left was because I’d given him heart eyes at three in the morning and mentally projected ‘fuck me’ all over his living room wall.

In fact, I was probably the most equipped human on the entire fucking planet to date a vampire. I’d basically been prepping for it since the day I learned how my dick worked.

“Richard. I literally told you the first time we were alone how much of a boner I have for vampires. You think the fact you are one is a problem for me?”

“That’s why I couldn’t help myself.” “Why? Because I have no brain to mouth filter?” Thank god I hadn’t accidentally said ‘Richard has nipples,’ out loud.

The praise went straight to my dick and it twitched helplessly. I was sure at this point I had to be leaking all over my frowny-face boxers. I didn’t even care. They were frowning anyway, what did they care if they got a little precum on them?