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“I can’t believe all this is happening because of my sister. I feel like I brought this on all of you.”
“I want one thing straight,” Knox said. “None of this goes down before the wedding Saturday. Nothing fucks up Daisy’s day.”
Knox looked at me and used his middle finger to rub at the corner of his eye. “Thanks, Leens,” he said. “You’re so welcome,” I said sweetly, lifting my glass with middle finger extended.
“Don’t bother arguing,” Naomi said to him. “If it’s a precaution Waylay and I have to take, you have to take it too.”
“I won’t be run off as easily this time.”
And I’d noticed him using his bad shoulder with fewer grimaces. My heart had given up on its nervous PVCs for the most part, and I wondered if earth-shattering sex was some kind of miracle cure-all.
“He’s unpredictable. I could be putting myself out there as bait and he could still ignore me and go after someone else.”
Nash was glaring at him with the heat of a thousand suns.
“That lines up with Grim’s intel. Sounds like Duncan Hugo wants to work with the feds if it means getting his father out of the way and taking over the family business,” Nash said.
“Letting someone in. Letting them get close enough that they could destroy you if they wanted to.”
“Don’t know how to explain it. I just know there’s nothing ballsy or brave about living your whole life behind walls. The real good shit doesn’t start until those bricks come down and you invite someone in. If you’re not scared shitless, you’re doin’ it wrong.”
The ones you want to trust. The ones you want to let you in. That vulnerability shit is just like respect. It’s earned.”
“Being with Naomi made me realize how miserable I was before. Everything I thought I wanted was just me trying to protect myself from really living. Like pushing people away,” he said pointedly.
“Never seen him like this with any other woman. He’s in deep and he’s hopin’ you are too.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m just processing the fact that you willingly called me to talk about your love life.”
What if he gets to know all of me and then he decides I’m too much or not enough?
“Lina, the only way you’re going to know if he’s the one is if you treat him like he’s the one. He can either earn the title or lose it. That’s up to him, but you’re the one who has to give him the chance to earn you.”
“You’ve viewed every relationship since as a potential prison.” Okay, that rang a little true.
“Angel, it’s in my DNA. It’s like asking Oprah to stop loving books.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re delusional. I obviously undercooked the bacon and pork amoebas are eating your brain as we speak.”
I’d hated it…and holy shit, I was doing the same damn thing to them now. I didn’t trust them to be able to deal with truth so I lied to protect them.
“Why can’t you fucking do it? You’re the one sleeping with her. Or, according to Way, ‘making heart eyes’ at her.”
Rain pelted the windows, ensuring I couldn’t forget the misery outside.
I just wanted a hot shower so I could stand under the water until my soul thawed. And then I wanted to go to bed and sink into the blackness until I could forget about the pain that I hadn’t been able to save anyone from.
When she didn’t come home that day, part of me died. Part of all of us died. We were never the same.
I could only go for a stupid walk in the stupid rain so my stupid eye water could mix with the stupid sky water.
If he didn’t change his mind, if he couldn’t venture out of his black-and-white thinking and meet me in the gray, I would lose him forever. The thought of that reality was terrifying. And stupid. We barely knew each other, and I was crying in the damn rain over a man who had kicked me out of his apartment.
I wished I hadn’t. So much pain. So much sadness. I ached for him.
“You went to Lucian for advice? That guy is one typewriter away from The Shining.
“On your darkest days, you drag yourself out of bed and you choose to go protect your town, your people. That’s what a hero does, you idiot. What you do is nothing short of heroic.”
“They used to dance in the kitchen. My parents. They used to be happy. He loved her so much. And when she was gone, he didn’t love us enough. He chose booze and pills over and over again. He needed them.”
“It’s irresponsible to jump out of a moving vehicle. Especially one that’s several thousand feet above the fucking earth.”
“Nash, I’ve done this more than a handful of times. This is one of my favorite things to do, and I want to share it with you.” Double fuck.
A training video. If it was long enough, I could pray for a thunderstorm to roll in. Or a cloud of locusts. Or some kind of mechanical failure that would be discovered while we were still safely on the ground. Oh, two flat tires and a hole in the propeller? Too bad. Let’s go get some breakfast.
Or I could sign my own death warrant, defy gravity in a tiny tin can, and then hurl myself out of it with her. For her.
This was by far the dumbest thing I’d ever done for a woman.
So I did. One finger at a time. I hoped Knox wouldn’t put something stupid on my headstone.
I could have missed this. I could have died that night. I could have chosen to give up on her, on us. I could have said no on the ground. But instead, everything had led me to this moment. To Lina Solavita.
My heart belonged to this woman and I was going to go buy her the biggest fucking ring I could find.
“Serious enough to make Bannerjee show me how to use Pinterest so I could save a few dozen ring designs.” Lucian dragged his hands over his face in horror but said nothing.
He would move heaven and earth to find me. So would Knox and Nolan. Even Lucian would lend a hand. And if they couldn’t do it, my mother would hunt me down.
No coat plus a healthy dose of fear made the night air feel even colder.
“As for you, I’m not a man to be truffled with. Your boyfriend should have known that.” “Trifled,” Nikos corrected. “Truffle is a goddamn mushroom, you fucking idiot.” “Fuck you, dick.”
“Don’t get all mushy. If you get all mushy, this is gonna take forever, and I want cake,” she instructed.
“I always knew I’d get you to marry me somehow, Justice.”
I knew every single face here and recognized what a miracle that was. What a privilege it was not just to be part of this town but to serve it.
