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When someone who doesn’t want to die, realises they’re going to die, they fight.
I have a thing about eating and drinking in front of other people.
It’s probably time I went home, away from people.
I’m not the biggest fan of girls’ nights out at all to be honest – in fact they’re something I detest with the full coldness of my heart
He referred to himself as an ‘entrepreneur’. Which everyone knows is shorthand for twat.
It’s not long before I regret my decision to walk though. My feet hurt in my heels, and I wonder if they were designed by men specifically to make women easier to catch.
I wish I had that unsullied version of my own father.
He likes the same music as she does and even the same films. Would you believe it? It’s almost like she posts every single personal thing on her social media accounts. And he’s read them.
His actions are not a reflection on you. He’s the dick here, babes.’
I don’t think I actually know anyone who’s met their soulmate on a dating app.’
‘Mental illness can make you selfish,’
I want to live in a world where I don’t have to keep my keys between my fingers in case I’m attacked walking home.
‘I don’t care,’ Tor continues, just as loudly. She’s addressing the table of slightly older women next to ours. ‘I have a clitoris, I am a woman and I enjoy getting my brains fucked out.
I wonder how long it would take before someone reported me if I went missing.
quote
But, it might be nice to have conversations with people who aren’t obsessed with themselves and whoever they’re sleeping with for a change.
and I wish he’d just write a cheque and shut up sometimes.’
The memories from my childhood are still swimming around in my head, gurgling around in the pit of my stomach.
but you’re not. You’re layered. You’re interesting. You shook my world a bit to be honest. I didn’t think I was the sort of person who made presumptions about people. But it turns out I do. And I was wrong.’
His lack of proper grammar makes me seethe.
He doesn’t look like a monster though. But they don’t, do they?
He’s not big or overbearing. He’s just a guy. The devil wears many guises.
‘Let’s not talk about the past.’
I like who I am when I’m with this man.
They’re my constants. The family I was able to choose.
I’d bet a kidney – not one of my own
‘A worthy cunt needs a hunt.’
I guess footballers aren’t known for their brains.
But the complete truth is, even killing myself seems like too much of an effort.
‘Babes, we all think about awful things happening to people who hurt us.
‘Stop changing the subject.’ ‘Says the actual queen of the subject change.’
‘None of us are perfect, Kits, we’re all human, trying to do our best at life. But we all make mistakes too. We need to learn to forgive ourselves for those mistakes. We’re our own worst judge and jury.’
That’s the tipping point, isn’t it? We’ve all got the potential to do very bad things; it’s whether we can control those urges that make us what we are.
‘At least your dad wanted you,’
‘Hen, you’re not fucked up,’ I say. ‘You’re damaged. What he has done to you, has been doing to you, has damaged you.’
‘They’d all have to relive it. Even the ones who haven’t come forward will be forced back there when it’s all over the news. You know what this country is like for women. Their entire sexual histories will be brought up, picked apart. They’ll be shamed. And those are the ones he hasn’t yet paid to keep silent.’
He still thinks he’s untouchable.’
After throwing the plate at the wall
He seems to think he’s getting some kind of Living Karma for cheating on you.
‘A man-hating, vegan serial killer is actually lecturing me about needing to get help. Oh, you’ve always been hilarious, Kits.’
It’s amazing how even the worst monsters are so desperate to hang on to their lives.
‘That reminds me actually. That saying you couldn’t remember earlier about secrets. It’s “three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead”. I looked it up on my phone.’
‘I swear every single New Year’s Eve I end up saying “well what a fucking year that was, thank fuck it’s over”.
I can’t think of a good way to describe the way they look at each other, but it’s like their souls have found homes.
It’s when I see them together, or when I catch Charlie looking at me, like he’s doing now, that I realise I grew up not knowing what love is. How to give it. How to take it.
Charlie has filled the huge hole in my heart, which is supposed to be overflowing with a childhood full of love. Neither of us really had that, so we’re happy filling each other’s holes. Shut up. Don’t make something so precious so smutty
