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Oh, to have the confidence of a very average white male.
Then suddenly, for the first time in over a decade, I feel the overwhelming need for my mother. It’s something that never fails to bemuse me, the absolute most primal needs humans have, no matter who we are.
She was the absolute queen of London before she married my father and became yet another housewife. The life she’d yearned for as a child growing up in the poorer districts of London soon became tainted and hated as she realised what it really meant. A cheating husband; regular beatings and sexual assaults; the pity of the women she was supposed to call friends, despite most of them having slept with her husband.
Silence is compliance
‘A man-hating, vegan serial killer
that burning need to destroy every bad thing I see, every bad person, every time someone wrongs someone who doesn’t deserve it? I’m learning to sit with those feelings. To feel them. To let myself be angry at the injustice in the world, but remind myself that there are other ways I can help that don’t involve abattoirs, stun guns and a selection of butcher’s knives. Whatever red beast that had been awoken in me has been gently soothed back to sleep by love. I know right, utter vomit.
