How to Kill Men and Get Away With It

by Katy Brent

‘When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should – so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again.’ —JANE EYRE

‘It seems I could do anything when I’m in a passion. I get so savage, I could hurt anyone and enjoy it.’ —LITTLE WOMEN

Do teenagers not go through an awkward phase any more?

Reallll

I smile sweetly but what I really want to do is take my spoon and scoop his eyes out, then use the back of it to smash them like the avocado on my sourdough.

My feet hurt in my heels, and I wonder if they were designed by men specifically to make women easier to catch.

‘He wasn’t a saint, Gill. He was a man.’

‘Urgh. I could kill men sometimes.’ Me too.

‘You ignored me all night,’ I’d said. ‘Kitty, my angel, I was working. You know I hate all that shit.’

You dropped my fucking hand what am i suppose to do with that ?!

Oh, to have the confidence of a very average white male.

b) no one is better than me.

I want to live in a world where I don’t have to keep my keys between my fingers in case I’m attacked walking home.