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“You’ve been hurt, it’s hard to feel safe again. This is just the flinch.” I wiped under my eyes with the top of my shirt. “Maybe the flinch is the only thing that keeps you from getting hurt again.” “Maybe the flinch is the only thing that keeps you from being happy.”
“You know, love shows up, Briana. And even if you keep me away from you, my heart will still be where you are. So just let me be where you are.”
“You got me a book?” “It’s a story, yes.” I sniffed. “Okay.” I tucked it under my arm.
I opened it to the page with a green Post-it sticking out. It said, This is the day I met you. Start here. He wanted me to read his diary.
WAAAHHHH
…I thought I’d been in love before. I’d called it love, I’d believed it was love. But Briana is the lesson. She’s the one who taught me what it really feels like to live for someone else…
…When she ghosts me, she haunts me. I can still feel her all around me only I can’t see her or touch her and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can’t go the rest of my life like this. This isn’t living. Nothing is anything without her…
Dearest Briana, I know you’re scared. You have every right to be. But someday, decades from now, when our grandchildren are grown and our hair is gray, and we’ve spent a lifetime being harmless to each other, you’re going to find this letter yellowed and wrinkled, forgotten in a shoebox. You’ll read it and you’ll remember how frightened and unsure you were once. How afraid you were to give yourself to someone, how hard it was to trust again—and you’ll smile. Because I’ll still be there. And we will still be in love. Yours truly, Jacob
“You know, they almost didn’t let me in here. They said I had to wait until you were awake and you could ask for me. They only let me in because you had me listed on your intake paperwork as your wife.” I gave her a small, tired smile. “I’m trying to manifest the things I want by speaking them into the universe.” “And you want a wife?” “Only if it’s you.”
“How is Benny?” I asked. “The surgery went well. No complications. His new kidney’s already producing urine.” I arched an eyebrow. “Really? So fast?” She shrugged. “It’s a perfect match.” “Someone told me once that even a perfect match isn’t perfect.” She held my eyes. “This one is.”
“I like Ava for a girl,” I said, opening my eyes to look at her. “Ava Xfinity?” “Ava Xfinity Ortiz.”
We were standing inside by the back door while everyone finished taking their seats outside, because I was walking Briana down the aisle myself. She didn’t like the idea of someone bringing her to me like she was “property changing hands”—her exact words. She wanted us to walk as equals. And it was less anxiety for me than standing there in front of everyone waiting for her to come to me.
There were rumblings that he and Jane were next. Briana said she was going to personally hand my sister the bouquet.
so cute
I agree to be harmless to you.”
