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These friends were easy. Not all of them were. Different people had different energy demands. Some people took more from me than others.
and we fell into a silence. But unlike most silences, this one didn’t feel awkward. It was like the pause between our letters. Just a small break in the dialogue.
He always thought about what he was going to say before he said it. Like he was weighing it, deciding what he should reveal. Jacob was a fortress. And I got the sense he didn’t let people in very often. But it was imperative that I get in. One, to make this all believable to his family. But two, because I wanted in. I really did want to get to know him.
“I always think that when we’re quiet, we’re agreeing to be harmless to each other. That we’re just sharing the same space and letting each other exist exactly as we are, and neither of us would hurt or upset the other one.”
It was weird to say, but she made me feel alone—the way I felt when I was by myself. Calm and unaffected. Like it was just us here and not a hundred other people. I liked being alone. With her.
couldn’t wait to be alone with her. That was the reward. Not slipping out of the party or sitting on the stairs with the dog. It was getting her to myself.

