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Macon saved my dad’s life.
The energy between us is so palpable. We’re either going to murder one another or fuck each other senseless. And then probably murder each other.
I catch the way her hand balls into a tight fist at her side. I bet her teeth are gritted, too. There you are, Lennon. There you fucking are.
“He was worse at nineteen,” I joke without thinking. I slam my mouth shut just as Macon releases a surprised chuckle. The memory that rushes me is one that turns my cheeks crimson and my throat dry. Messy eater.
I do my rounds, making sure to say hello to everyone before I dip out early. It’s a lot of high fives and
We are homesick most for the places we have never known.
The core of me wants to be next to him, regardless of logic and lessons learned. Lennon will always want Macon. That’s why I can’t be her anymore.
“Je suis désolé, ma soeur,”
“Faisons comme si tu n’étais pas une salope. Si cela vous aide à mieux dormir.”
No drug. No fuck. No cheap thrill. Nothing compares to Lennon, and it’s terrifying. She’s heaven and she’s hell. She’s my reward and my punishment. She’ll ruin me again. I know it.
“Maybe that bridge was burned four years ago. Maybe Claire poured the gasoline, you tossed the match, and Macon danced on the ashes. I won’t be forced back into a box that I outgrew. I’m not going to forgive him just to make it easier on you.”
“Let’s get one thing straight, Claire.” I speak slowly and annunciate my words. “Macon is no more my brother than you are my sister. And you will never be my sister.” I drag my eyes down her body and sneer. “Now fuck off.”
“The heart is a lonely hunter with only one desire! To find some lasting comfort in the arms of another's fire.”
“You don’t want fine, Lennon. You want madness. You want fire. Anything less is a waste of time.”
“Unforgiving. Difficult to master. You don’t want easy. You don’t want to erase your mistakes. You want to build on them and transform them into something beautiful. You’ve never wanted fine, Lennon. You want watercolors.”
“I’m an addict, Astraea. I don’t know how to do anything small. I feel intensely. I want intensely. I crave intensely. For me, if it’s not a healthy obsession, it’s not love.”
