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To rock bottom, the journey back to the top, and growth.
The energy between us is so palpable. We’re either going to murder one another or fuck each other senseless. And then probably murder each other.
“Je suis désolé, ma soeur,” I say. “Faisons comme si tu n’étais pas une salope. Si cela vous aide à mieux dormir.”
She’s heaven and she’s hell. She’s my reward and my punishment. She’ll ruin me again. I know it.
“Astraea is also the constellation Virgo,” I tell her. I pause, just enough for it to sink in, then I tap the constellation tattoo on my chest. “Virgo.”
My hand is trembling as I slide it out of its hiding place. I hold my breath as I turn it around. I know what it’s going to be even before I let the sheet drop to the floor, but I still start to cry the moment I see it, my hand shooting to my mouth to stifle my gasp. It’s my painting. The one I sold for twelve-thousand dollars. The one I painted during the darkest point in my life. The one that pulled me from the bottom and revived my love for painting.
“I fucking went to rehab for us,” he says, his voice shaking. “So I could love you right.”
“Unforgiving. Difficult to master. You don’t want easy. You don’t want to erase your mistakes. You want to build on them and transform them into something beautiful. You’ve never wanted fine, Lennon. You want watercolors.”
“I never gave up on us,” he breathes out. “Even after you did, I didn’t. Because you belong with me, Lennon Capri. You always have and you always will.”
I’m always going to be an addict, and she’s always going to be my greatest temptation. The only addiction worth ruining myself for.
“I’m an addict, Astraea. I don’t know how to do anything small. I feel intensely. I want intensely. I crave intensely. For me, if it’s not a healthy obsession, it’s not love.”
My left side wasn’t unlucky. It was just waiting for Lennon. She heals my hurts. She strengthens me. I’m so stupidly in love with her.
“This life. The next life. Every life after that. I will love you in all of them, Lennon Capri. It doesn’t matter who you become or how you change. My soul will always belong to yours.”
