This Life and All the Rest (Next Life, #2)

by Brit Benson

Astraea?”

The energy between us is so palpable. We’re either going to murder one another or fuck each other senseless. And then probably murder each other.

I can return the hug. It’s not awkward. Not even for a second. She fits between my arms, against my body, like she was meant to be there.

She tilts her head to the side, and the way her hazel eyes have brightened heats my blood. I can’t form words, so instead, I nod again.

There you are, Lennon. There you fucking are.

But I guess I’m the only one who got to experience that version of Macon.

The Lennon Room.

Tehehe

“Three and a half years clean and sober,” I tell her proudly. I want to reach

But instead of being just regular lines, they’re paint brushes. Two of them.

Macon doesn’t paint. I do.

“Je suis désolé, ma soeur,” I say. “Faisons comme si tu n’étais pas une salope. Si cela vous aide à mieux dormir.”

“No,” she says, her voice no more than a hushed breath, and my restraint snaps. We collide. Lips and teeth and tongues.

Fuck, she feels so good. Sinfully good. Addictively good.

Nothing has ever felt this good. No drug. No fuck. No cheap thrill. Nothing compares to Lennon, and it’s terrifying. She’s heaven and she’s hell. She’s my reward and my punishment. She’ll ruin me again. I know it.

“You need to demonize me to fit your narrative, fine,”

I advance on her. “You want to make me the villain in your story, so you feel better?

Fuck, how badly I wanted to be that paintbrush.

My body makes the decision before my mind does, and I reach for her. She closes her eyes just as I cup her jaw, smearing cold clay over the paint mark before sliding to her neck and pulling her into me.

want to consume all of her.

take the ribbon from the end of her braid,

If he keeps it im deadd

Water splashes our feet, and Lennon and I break apart.

Hater

“I want to watch you touch yourself.”

Ew i hate this shit its so gross

staring down at Lennon like the fucking goddess that she is.

Astraea,”

“Astraea is also the constellation Virgo,”

I tap the constellation tattoo on my chest. “Virgo.”

“It’s not about you being siblings,

Okayyy dadddd

“Maybe that bridge was burned four years ago. Maybe Claire poured the gasoline, you tossed the match, and Macon danced on the ashes. I won’t be forced back into a box that I outgrew.

It’s me. It’s me on prom night, laughing in my dress.

It’s my painting. The one I sold for twelve-thousand dollars.

I fucking knew it PLEASEEEE

“I fucking went to rehab for us,” he says, his voice shaking. “So I could love you right.”

Love. So I could love you.

“You don’t want fine, Lennon. You want madness. You want fire. Anything less is a waste of time.”

“Unforgiving. Difficult to master. You don’t want easy. You don’t want to erase your mistakes. You want to build on them and transform them into something beautiful. You’ve never wanted fine, Lennon. You want watercolors.”

So, you like watercolors because they’re beautiful, difficult to master, and unforgiving? Yeah. It’s my love medium.

“I asked you to wait for me. I asked you not to give up.” My eyes pop open, and I shake my head in disbelief. He can’t possibly mean... “The note?” I say on a gasp. A crumpled sticky note? He thinks that will make up for everything?

“I came back for you,” he chokes out, “and I found you in that alley, and I relapsed. I went on a bender,

Sobbing

“I never gave up on us,” he breathes out. “Even after you did, I didn’t. Because you belong with me, Lennon Capri. You always have and you always will.”

feel my heart shatter,

head in the direction I heard her laugh, an alleyway between the pub and the building beside it. As I push through the crowd, she laughs again, and if there weren’t so many people out here, I’d be sprinting.

I know that sound by heart. I know her expression. It’s stored in my memory. I thought it was only mine.

“Loyalty has an expiration date, Macon. My loyalty is to her now, and you’re not going to get shit out of me.”

It’s my Lennon. My Astraea.

I’m always going to be an addict, and she’s always going to be my greatest temptation. The only addiction worth ruining myself for.

love you, I want to say. I love you. I love you. But I don’t.

already know I’ll have entire books dedicated to this Lennon. My Lennon.

For the first time in years, I feel complete.

You know you guys are like sodium and potassium just waiting for a rainstorm."

Sparks fly between us, and all I can think is sodium and potassium.

I’ve always loved a rainstorm.