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“Je suis désolé, ma soeur,” I say. “Faisons comme si tu n’étais pas une salope. Si cela vous aide à mieux dormir.”
She’s heaven and she’s hell. She’s my reward and my punishment. She’ll ruin me again. I know it.
“I fucking went to rehab for us,” he says, his voice shaking. “So I could love you right.”
“Unforgiving. Difficult to master. You don’t want easy. You don’t want to erase your mistakes. You want to build on them and transform them into something beautiful. You’ve never wanted fine, Lennon. You want watercolors.”
“I never gave up on us,” he breathes out. “Even after you did, I didn’t. Because you belong with me, Lennon Capri. You always have and you always will.”
“I’m an addict, Astraea. I don’t know how to do anything small. I feel intensely. I want intensely. I crave intensely. For me, if it’s not a healthy obsession, it’s not love.”
My Astraea, I’m sorry. If you’re reading this, that means your luggage got to your aunt’s house and you’re an ocean away from me. Fuck, I miss you already. Prom was the best night of my life. That memory is going to fuel my recovery, Astraea, I promise. I have to go to rehab. I’m leaving today after Trent drops you at the airport. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. Please don’t be mad at your dad. I asked him to send you early. I promise I’ll explain in detail when I get out and you come home in the fall. Enjoy England. I know it’s been your dream since you were little. Take lots of
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My left side wasn’t unlucky. It was just waiting for Lennon. She heals my hurts. She strengthens me. I’m so stupidly in love with her.
“This life. The next life. Every life after that. I will love you in all of them, Lennon Capri. It doesn’t matter who you become or how you change. My soul will always belong to yours.”
