It lies in ourselves, in the ways we have let other people’s behaviors affect us and in the ways we try to affect them: the controlling, the obsessive “helping,” caretaking, low self-worth bordering on self-hatred, self-repression, an abundance of anger and guilt, a peculiar dependency on peculiar people, an attraction to and tolerance for the bizarre, othercenteredness that results in abandonment of self, communication problems, intimacy problems, and an ongoing whirlwind trip through the five-stage grief process.
