Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

Codependents may: think and feel responsible for other people—for other people’s feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny feel anxiety, pity, and guilt when other people have a problem feel compelled—almost forced—to help another person solve their problem, such as offering unwanted advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings feel angry when our help isn’t effective anticipate other people’s needs wonder why others don’t do the same for us find ourselves saying yes when we mean no, doing things we don’t really want to do, doing more than our fair share of the work, and doing things other people can and should do for themselves not know what we want and need or, if we do, tell ourselves what we want and need isn’t important

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