Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

by Melody Beattie

We cannot begin to work on ourselves, to live our own lives, feel our own feelings, and solve our own problems, until we have detached from the object of our obsession.

And forgiving someone doesn’t mean we have to let that person keep hurting us. An alcoholic doesn’t need forgiveness; they need treatment. We don’t need to forgive the alcoholic, at least not initially. We need to step back so they can’t keep stomping on our toes.