More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
People are attracted to others because of superficial things. To pretend otherwise is to insult both our intelligence. At least what you have with Arnie seems to be a little more earnest than that.” “It’s Arsène.”
“Please, Jesus called. He needs his cross back.”
“Heartbreak is a terrible reason not to give love a second chance. It’s like swearing off food because of food poisoning. Or . . . or . . . I don’t know! Like avoiding ice cream because you don’t like one flavor.
Love has so much more to offer than heartbreak. It’s hope. It’s butterflies. It’s wisdom. It’s family and shelter. Peace and babies.”
Life, by definition, is a gamble. You win some, you lose some. The important thing is—always lose with a victorious smile.”
But I do want to be here, waiting for him, when he arrives back from London. Mainly because I remember him once saying that no one’s ever waited at home for him.
I shove the door open. The second I do, all the oxygen leaves my lungs. Because it is here. Full size and hung on his wall. Where the TV should be. Right in front of his bed. And it’s just as magnificent as I remember it to be. The Seagull’s poster.
The huge one that got magically “lost” all those months ago. With the close-up of my face. It was Arsène who took it. Who stole it.
I fall into Arsène’s bed and cry and cry and cry for hours. Cry until I fall asleep in the comfort of the scent of the man I love.
Christian: Something happened when I was away. Arsène: I’m not helping you bury any bodies. Christian: You think I’d ask you for something like that via text message? You think I’m that dumb? Arsène: Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer for. What happened? Christian: Arya took the spare keys for your apartment. Arsène: I’m flattered, but she is not my type. Christian: Winnie asked her for them, YOU MORON.
The view of her like this, alone, takes my breath away.
Torn between my need to wake her up and talk to her and her need to sleep off her exhaustion, the latter wins, and I crawl into bed, wrap my arms around her, bury my nose in her strawberry hair.
“Hey, Mars?” she murmurs. “Tell me something interesting about the universe.” I close my eyes, smiling into her hair. “There’s a planet made of diamonds. It is twice the size of planet Earth and is covered by graphite and diamonds.”
And, if given a chance, I would give you a ring with a diamond even bigger. If you say yes.
“I bet it’s beautiful,” she whispers. Shivers roll down my skin, and I kiss the side of her ear. “Not as beautiful as you.”
She rolls on top of me and straddles my hips, staring down at me with unabashed hunger, and I cannot believe I’ve ever fucked a woman who wasn’t her. A person who didn’t look at me the way she does now. Like I’m her entire world. Her moon, her stars, the Milky Way, and the galaxies around it.
“Missed you, Bumpkin.”
“Sorry, you can’t get into my bedroom because I stole a giant poster of you from your workplace. PS, please don’t file a restraining order against me?”
“Why’d you do that?” “Become your stalker?” I thrust into her, staring deep into her eyes. I’m trying to concentrate on the conversation so I don’t blow my load after five minutes. “It was premeditated, believe it or not.”
She reaches to kiss me. “No. Take the poster.” “So I’d always...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
“You mean, we’ll be able to spend our time traveling all over the world, making memories, living the high life, and fucking twenty-four seven? I’ll try to bear the burden of such a scenario.”
“Then again, we might have lots of children. Three, maybe four!” she says heatedly. “I like babies. I love children. And if we can adopt, I’d definitely want to. How would you feel about that?” “Exhausted, I assume.”
“And excited. The house will always be full. I will never be bored. I do prefer children to full-size people, as a general rule. They’ve yet to surrender every part of their individuality in order to fit in, and they view the world through a fascinating prism.”
What I don’t say is that I’d love a do-over. A real family. A place of my own. That I think Winnifred will make an amazing mother—like Patrice—and that I want to see her have everything her heart desires.
“We both had such toxic relationships,” she whispers, eyes still closed. “Yes. And we’ve learned so much from them. This feels different. Grown up. Fully ripe. It feels like I dismantled something unsteady and built it back together, but better.”
“I’m sorry I bailed on The Seagull. It was wrong of me—” “I don’t give half a shit about The Seagull,” I cut her off. “It was never about the play. Never about your commitment to it. Always about us.”
Then I realized if everything goes according to my plan, maybe I will have a wife who would like to keep Calypso Hall for herself too. Besides, turns out I’m one sentimental little shit. My mother loved this theater, and . . . well, I loved her.
“In case I haven’t made myself clear thus far, I’m not Paul. I’m not interested in a prenup. Or in a baby machine. Or in a woman who makes cookies for my colleagues. I want a partner. An equal. I want you to be exactly who you are.”
“And who you are is who I fell in love with,” I finish.
“I’m not going anywhere, Arsène Corbin. Whether you like it or not, I will always be your home. I will always wait for you, like the poster. I’m your family now.”
“I am a seagull.” Only I do not symbolize destruction, the way Treplev demolished the seagull in Chekhov’s play. I represent freedom, and healing, and tranquility.
I once read somewhere that seagulls are one of only a few species on Earth that are able to drink saltwater. How amazing it must be. To defy nature like that.
“Planets can float through space for eternity without a parent star. They just drift through the galaxy. Astronomers believe they got ‘kicked’ out of their family system at some point. They’re like rebels with a backpack and fifty bucks to their name, but somehow, they survive.”
“Well, you won’t have to drift anymore.” I kiss his chin, his cheek, his nose. “You have a home planet now. You have me.”
This one, I can’t afford to lose.
