Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion

by Gabrielle Stanley Blair

We’ve put the burden of pregnancy prevention on the person who is fertile for 24 hours a month, instead of the person who is fertile 24 hours a day, every day of their life.

We have an entire pregnancy prevention industry built around the brief, elusive period of monthly female fertility, and nothing, absolutely nothing even close to equivalent, that addresses the always persistent male fertility. We are laser-focused on the wrong thing.

When you look at the pros and cons, the scales tip in favor of vasectomies. Despite the facts, tubal ligation is still the more popular method. Maybe it’s because birth control and sterilization are considered the woman’s responsibility. But as many women will argue, and several guys have agreed with, women’s bodies have gone through plenty of trauma with childbirth, so when it comes to sterilization, it’s time for guys to take one for the team.

I do anesthesia for a living, done it for hundreds of tubals I’m sure. I often think: WTF is wrong with the husband? Except when part of a C-section, tubals should be rare. Vasectomies are cheap, low-pain, extremely safe, and highly effective. Why are tubals also a burden that women must carry? An additional point: there has never been a documented death from a vasectomy. However, many women have died from anesthetic or surgical complications from a tubal ligation.

Even though birth control options for men have a long list of distinct advantages, we’ve put the burden of pregnancy prevention on women. We’ve put the burden on the person who is fertile for 24 hours a month, instead of the person who is fertile 24 hours a day, every day of their life.

We don’t mind if women suffer, as long as it makes things easier for men.

But here’s the thing, vasectomies are always performed with at least a local anesthetic, while pain meds are rarely if ever used for IUD insertions.

That same team of decision-makers, all of whom were men, decided against pursuing research on menstrual cramp relief. Why? They believed that cramps were not a public health priority.

When men choose to have condom-less sex, they are putting a woman’s body, health, social status, job, economic status, relationships, and even her life, at risk in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure.

Why are we talking about unwanted pregnancies? Because 99 percent of abortions are the direct result of unwanted pregnancy. And we need to understand very clearly that women enjoying sex does not cause unwanted pregnancies and abortion. What causes unwanted pregnancies and abortion? Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejaculations.

All unwanted pregnancies are caused by irresponsible ejaculations. Or, in simpler terms: Men cause all unwanted pregnancies.

Here’s the thing, if you’re someone who is interested in reducing abortions, as strange as it sounds, focusing on abortions is not the answer. Neither is focusing on women. Women are already doing the work of pregnancy prevention. No. If you actually want to reduce abortions, you need to start much earlier. Instead of focusing on abortions, you need to focus on preventing unwanted pregnancies. And to do that, you need to focus on preventing irresponsible ejaculations.

Patriarchy teaches us that sex, for women, is a giveaway, while for men it is a takeaway. She saves herself, gives herself to the right one, and then her virginity is lost. In this equation, there is nothing in sex that’s for her to take. Whereas he takes and scores and there is nothing in sex for him to give. When her mind is programmed to give, she struggles to say “no.” When his mind is programmed to take, he struggles to accept “no.”

Wow

Our society is set up to protect men from the consequences of their own actions. Our laws and policies could not be better designed to protect men who abandon the pregnancies they cause.