Cackle

by Rachel Harrison

I can’t let go of my cynicism. I have to keep it close, tucked under my seat like an inflatable life vest. I’m too afraid of what will happen if I allow myself to become hopeful. What terrible disappointments will attack while I’m stupid happy and unprepared.

“Fate is just another invention to trick us into complacency. Inaction. If one assumes that they cannot change their circumstances, they won’t try. When you think about it, really, there’s a myriad of ways we’re conditioned to passivity. Women, especially. Of course, I realized all of this a long, long time ago. It saved me. It could have just as easily drowned me.”

I embrace the next morning with all the enthusiasm of a goat entering Jurassic Park.

“I gave you so much of myself,” I say, “and you wasted me.”

“Women are out there tethering themselves to mediocre men just so they can wear a ball gown. It’s a shame.”