Irresistibly Broken (Irresistibly Yours, #1)

by J. Saman

Eight years ago, I lost the love of my life.

Bed and whiskey for breakfast were a much better option.

“One has to have a soul for it to be unburdened.”

“Talking about it won’t unburden me. It will only burden others.” The truth shall not set me free. It shall ruin someone who is already suffering more than he should.

“Tough is being a man even when the odds are stacked against you. It’s doing the right thing when the wrong thing is easier. Grow up. Get out of your shit and do better. Now go before I call the cops.”

I never should have gotten out of bed this morning.

He didn’t recognize me. A lucky break.

Lord Jesus sleeping in the manger, I need this.

Fuck. Motherfuck. Motherfucking tity-sucking ass-kicking bitch, I am screwed with a capital S.

“Why do I have to have such a mouth on me?” Her hand grasps my forearm. “Because you are entitled to one as we all are.

And maybe you said some things you shouldn’t have. You were disrespectful and I get it. He’s the boss. But fear of speaking up is what has consistently placed women in the dark ages and had us not viewed as equals. Be bold. Be strong. And if this is where it ends for you here, remember you are brilliant and talented. Carve your own path without requiring the aid of anyone else.”

Children are for women who are better, less selfish humans than I am. I am not meant to be a mother and that’s simply the laws of nature.

Unhappy. It’s such a basic word. One a child would use. But its meaning resonates.

“I’d apologize for it, but I’m not all that sorry. If you’re going to fire me, then I’m glad you know what I think of you.”

Fashion, for all its beauty, is the ugliest business around.

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” “Is that an emotion you’re capable of?” “Certainly more than empathy.”

She is Persephone battling the darkness and monsters of the underworld.

Lord, I never pray because you and I aren’t on speaking terms after what you did to Suzie, but if you could make this woman smell like dog shit instead of heaven and feel like razors instead of everything right, I’d be forever grateful.

Everyone reacts differently to loss, but true loss affects everyone the same way. That’s why it’s so hard to get over. Because once you lose someone, they take some of you with them. You’re never quite whole again and the rest of you is constantly trying to compensate for that missing piece.

I could toss a what the fuck at him and see where it lands.

“I see myself.” “No. You see a talented, badass bitch who doesn’t take shit from anyone even when they come at her full-on. You see a woman who has risen to the top like cream when all odds were against you. You see a woman who does not fail and does not allow someone else to make you question who and what you are. Know your value and whatever you do, do not let Zaxton Monroe and his sexy, evil mouth derail you.”

I hope your morning is spent with bitter, two-day-old coffee, undercooked eggs that leave you with food poisoning, and people finally telling you exactly what they think of you.

I know, wah, poor me, I’m pretty.

“That was before I knew you liked what I carry.” He snorts. “Everyone likes what you carry whether they eat your type of sashimi or not.

“Because it’s not creepy.” Georgia flips her red head in his direction. “It’s hot. Can I get an Amen on this? Stepsibling and age-gap tropes are hot.”

“I am my own hero. Scars are simply souvenirs you collect along the way. They make you tougher and you learn from them. I’ve learned some lessons the hard way and some the soft way. That’s all I could do.

I could fall in love with her. I might be halfway there already.

I love those guys, but if I have to listen to any more medical shit, I’ll throw Callan at them as a decoy and set the room on fire while I make my escape. I’ll leave Asher here to burn since the bastard loves flirting with my girl simply to rile me up.

“A double of tequila followed immediately by a glass of champagne, please.” “Say what?” I blink at the bartender’s disgusted expression and explain. “Liquor before beer and you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor and you’ve never been sicker.” “Champagne is not beer. Champagne makes everyone sick regardless of what they have before or after.”

“He’s my boss and I’m his intern. This is not going to be some reverse Cinderella gig where the lowly, downtrodden maiden swoops in and saves the billionaire curmudgeony prince from his life of misery in the palace.”

There are so many multifaceted pieces to him and I’m not sure if I want to rearrange them, piece them back together, or keep them in all their beautiful, sharp, jagged disarray.

“Then what exactly are you concerned about with your job?” “What people will say.” “Fuck what people will say.”

“That’s my girl.”

“Then beg me, Aurelia.”

Her. This woman. My reckoning and my salvation.

Something that is wrong shouldn’t feel this right. I hope.

I’ve never been intimate with a man. I’ve had sex, but I’ve never been intimate.

And for the love of baby kittens, why the hell does the what does this mean question have to be part of every woman’s genetic makeup? It’s like we’re programmed for disappointment from the start.

“Beg for mercy.” “Never,” I reply, winded. Only I don’t think that’s a promise I can keep where he’s concerned. My heart is already poking me in the ribs, letting me know that danger is on the horizon for us.

His words were, “I’ve never done it before, but I’ll try if that’s what you want to do.” I told him no. The thought of him going to a yoga class for me is well… yeah.

🖤🖤🖤

“But I’m not available. I’m with you.” Jesus. The way he says that. So simply.

I’m going to fall in love with him and he won’t understand how it happened.

Stop. Stop! My heart is blaring like an alarm: Warning. Danger. Crash imminent.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be crazy, but I feel crazy all the same.”

“I think that’s why I’m so crazy. I’m terrified this is too good to be true.” Because it always is. For me, it always is.

I have no idea how we got here from where we were, but I can’t fight the rightness of it either.

It’s funny when a moment hits you. When you’re going about your day and your life and then something comes out of nowhere and plows through you, knocking your world sideways in such a position where you know never again will it fully be how it was before.

Because I just fell in love with Zaxton Monroe. And I’m not sure if this will turn out to be the best or worst moment of my life.

He’s fulfilling my fantasies, but I want to be his in return.

I want to resurrect everything that died inside of him when Suzie died. I don’t want to try and replace her—that’s impossible. But I’d do anything for him to remember fun and love and laughter and heat and passion. I want him to remember what it feels like to not just live but be alive. So while he thinks tonight is only about me, I plan to flip things around on him. Just a bit.