Irresistibly Broken (Irresistibly Yours, #1)

by J. Saman

“Please don’t do that. Don’t ruin tonight for me. Tonight was perfect. Please don’t give me excuses or tell me you like me but or say how I’m beautiful except or that I’m special however. I don’t want to hear it. I’ve heard it all a dozen times before by lesser men than you. We already agreed to what this is and I’m not some heartsick woman who needs you to spell it out for her. I have too much at stake to play games, Zax. Do me a favor? Respect me enough not to play them.”

“You’re not an except. You’re not a but. You’re not a however. You’re an addiction I don’t know how to claim or conquer.” My eyes close at his words, my heart lurching in my chest. “I have never wanted anyone the way I want you, Aurelia, and that’s what’s hurting my soul.”

His vote of confidence in me is everything. Him seeing me for who I truly am and what I want to be—not Lia Sage, model—but Aurelia Whitlock, aspiring designer and businesswoman knocks me sideways. To him, I’m smart and capable and talented. Yes, he thinks I’m beautiful, I know he does because he’s told me. But that’s not what he’s seeing when he’s looking at me now. He sees me. And nothing… I mean fucking nothing has ever made me feel more incredible than that. I’ve never wanted to kiss a man more than I want to kiss Zax in this moment. And despite how buoyant I’m feeling right now, I’m also filled with terminal sadness. I finally met a man who sees beyond my exterior. Who sees my potential and believes in it. Who sees my heart and soul. But it’s a heart and soul he’s not interested in keeping for his own.

“See.” Aurelia waves at me. “That’s hardly what I’d call nice. If he weren’t right in front of me and quick on the firing trigger, I might even venture to call him dickish.” “Are you trying to get me to fire you?” “That’s why I said if you weren’t in front of me, I’d call you that. But since you are, I won’t.” She returns my withering stare with an overly sweet, phony smile, and I swear, if I could get away with it, I’d spank her and then fuck the insubordination out of her.

“I believe you,” I say. “I trust you.” “And I won’t betray that. Or you,” she tells me with a certainty that makes my heart pump out an extra beat. My hand dives through her hair, cupping the side of her face. I want to kiss her again. I’m desperate for it, in fact. To the point where I step in closer, toe-to-toe and inches apart. I stare at her lips and am hit with something so powerful I’m only now starting to come to grips with it. I could fall in love with her. I might be halfway there already.

“That seems like a lot of tequila to ply someone with,” comes from behind me. I spin around to find Asher Reyes, supreme hottie football god there. “Well, if it isn’t the donut assassin.” “In the flesh. Or should I say hole?” “That sounds like more of a golf thing.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Asher, this is my best friend, Iris. Iris, this is Asher. As I know you know.” “It’s a pleasure, Iris.” Asher shakes her hand. “Yes.” She sighs dreamily. “Pleasure Iris.” I cough, fighting my laugh, as does Asher. Nate, however, is not amused.

“You’re nervous with me again,” he comments, his voice low and rough, his eyes hooded despite the polite dancing distance he’s attempting to maintain between us. “I’m starting to think you’re either the if I can’t have her, no one else can type or the insanely jealous and possessive type.” “With you, it’s both,” he answers evenly, his hand gliding up my back and then sweeping back down.

“You’ve bewitched me. I’m no longer myself.” He takes my hand and places it over his pounding heart, his eyes wild and fierce. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about. Tell me how to make it stop.”

“This won’t end well for me. I’m lost in you, and I can’t lose. Not again.” Something in that registers within him and he blinks, taking a small, self-preserving step back. “Did it ever occur to you that I’m just as lost in you?” No. Honestly, not really. And still, I’m not sold he’s fighting anything stronger than lust with me.

“I’m assuming Zaxton Monroe doesn’t do walks of shame.” He shakes his head. “Hmm. Well, that’s a problem for you.” A raised eyebrow. “You could give me back the shirt you stole from me.” I laugh, because truly, that’s a good one. “Not on your life, pal. No takebacks allowed. I confiscated that fair and square just like you did my panties in New York.”

Because I just fell in love with Zaxton Monroe. And I’m not sure if this will turn out to be the best or worst moment of my life.

And just like that, the scrap of fabric I’m calling underwear tonight is soaked. “I hope you plan to put my pussy where your mouth is.” He smiles on a half-laugh. “Isn’t the expression, put your money where your mouth is?” I shake my head, nibbling playfully on my red lip. “Not tonight it isn’t.”

All I know is that from here on out, I’ll never be the same. This man owns my heart, my body, and my soul. I can only hope it’s the same for him. And pray this never ends.

Like it’s about to any second, only the fucking buzzer goes off again and then again and then again, followed by loud knocking and what the fuck is so goddamn urgent that someone feels the need to interrupt this?!

“Dibs,” Greyson yells just as he makes a beeline for me, picking me up off the ground and spinning me around. I squeal out a peal of laughter, my hands planted onto his shoulders so I don’t fall. “Hey there, little sis,” he calls up to me with a wink. “Nice seeing you again. I hear you’ve got my big brother all wrapped up.” “Ha, ha, set her down,” Zax demands without much heat. “And what if I don’t?” Greyson’s eyes flash over to Zax as he twists his body to keep me from him. “What if I decide to keep the pretty lady for myself?” Zax gives him a look and I exchange quick glances with the other guys. “I’ll just have to steal her back.” In the blink of an eye, Zax bolts for me, ripping me from Greyson’s clutches and catching me bridge-style in his arms. He swings me about before setting me back on my feet and keeping his arm around me. “There. Back where she belongs.” A kiss on my cheek in front of all his

guys and yep, there it goes. My heart. And just like his shirt and my underwear, there are no givebacks. Total swoon.

“Poker?” I wrestle back a giddy smile. “Evidently, I screwed up,” Zax explains to me. “I thought our monthly poker night was next week.” “Oh. Well, that’s not a problem. I can skedaddle.” “Or you can stay and poker with us,” Asher suggests. “Do you poker?”

“Depends on where she asks for it.” The guys burst out laughing, Asher clutching his side like I gave him a stitch. “Fuck, I love this woman,” Asher exclaims, wiping away tears from his face.

I throw him a wink. “Always be unexpected.” “Jesus.” Zax scrubs his hands up and down his face, though his smile is unstoppable. “I can’t tell if you’re evil, a genius, or an evil genius.” “Evil genius for sure,” Asher says, high-fiving me. “Can I bring you to poker nights with my teammates?” he asks. “You’d fucking clean up there and those boys could use a good knock in their egos.” “Honestly, I think I want to marry you.” Grey drops down onto one knee, taking my hand in his. “Aurelia Whitlock. Will you dump my brother and do me the tremendous honor of—” “All right. That’s it.” Zax jumps to his feet, grabbing Greyson by the collar of his shirt and dragging him up and away from me. “Everyone out. Now. I need some alone time with my woman. But you all better pay up. She swindled that money fair and square.”

I wipe away my smirk with the drag of my finger. “I’m not sure I follow what you’re asking.” He rolls his dark eyes at me, growing agitated by my emotionless tone and deadpan expression. “Bitch, please. You’re so full of shit your eyes are brown. For real, Zax, does she know?” “Know what?”

“That you might be so fucking head over heels in love with her there is no hope of recovery.”

“I’ll never be done with you. I’ll get never get enough. For you, I’ll keep treading water. Till my muscles burn and my lungs scream and even then I’ll keep going. You deserve the world, Aurelia, and there is nothing more I want than to be the one to give it to you.”

Me: I track everything about you because I’m so fucking in love with you, Aurelia. I’m consumed in you. So much so that I ache in your absence. Have faith in me as I do in you.

“Uh-uh. He’s not our problem anymore. And, I’m sorry,” she says, knocking me sideways. I nearly laugh. “For what?” “Because I was wrong. You had every right to do what you did and I’m not mad. I stopped being mad at you almost immediately after you left on Friday. Then your father stepped in and ruined my plans to come after you.” Hope explodes in my chest. “You’re serious?” A nod. Emotion barrels through me like a flash flood. Anger is replaced by relief, replaced by love. So much love. “Aurelia, I think I fell in love with you the second you glanced up with your knees bleeding and your bright blue eyes glaring at me. I would have waited forever. I would have begged and pleaded and done anything I could think of to win your heart and trust again. I swear it to you now, from here on out, it’s nothing but honesty between us.”

I think I’m going to pass out. That’s how fast my heart is going. The room starts to spin, and I plant my hand on the table for support. “You’re giving me my own design house?” “With the support and backing of Monroe to help it be successful,” he says. “She already has commissions from Bianca and Rina Fritz. With women like them wearing her dresses, there is no telling how high this can go. Where the Fritzes go, people follow.”

“You’re serious?” I can barely get the words out. “I think you’re ready,” Zax tells me with certainty in his voice. “You can do this, Aurelia. You have the talent and the know-how. You have the name. You just need the backing. I think this will be a huge initiative for Monroe that will lead it into the future and diversify the company.”

In a flash, I’m up on my feet, my legs wobbly. He stands behind me, his finger now inside of me, pumping slowly. “See those papers on the table?” Papers? What the fuck are papers? “Organize them for me. I want them in a perfect stack. Then I want you to flip one over and write I will never be a bad intern again. And remember—silent.”

“I will continue to be a bad intern because I like pissing off my asshole boss,” he reads. I grin, twisting my neck and catching his eye. “I’m not even sorry.” He smiles before his mouth covers mine from the side.

“Showtime,” Zax whispers in my ear as he wraps his arms around my waist from behind. “You’re going to be brilliant. I can’t wait to sit out there and watch you shine. I’m so proud of you, baby girl. You’re going to take the fashion world by storm with what you’ve created.” I spin in his arms, twining my fingers up into his hair. This man. Who knew Zaxton Monroe had such a sweet side? I love his gruff, unpolished side too, but the gem beneath is nothing short of breathtaking. And mine. All mine—cue maniacal stage laugh. Okay, I think I’m a touch crazy right now.

The last of the Monroe models, a six-foot curvy goddess of a woman, comes up to me, a slightly embarrassed expression on her face. “Mr. Monroe just walked to take his bow, but he asked me to give you this. Sorry!” She presses a kiss to my cheek, and I smile, fingering the skin she just touched. “What was that for?” “Luck and mental diversion, he said.” Then she shrugs as if she has no clue what any of that means. I laugh. That man. “Thank you. I needed that.” The man knew exactly how to pull me out of my head and get me to calm down and smile. It worked.

“In the last few weeks, you’ve all heard about our relationship because keeping it a secret became an impossibility for me. I loved a woman years ago with all my heart. But I was foolish. I waited to show her just what her love meant to me, and she died without ever wearing my ring on her finger and knowing just how deep I went for her. A mistake I’ll never make again.”

“Aurelia Whitlock, from the moment my eyes met yours, I tried to resist you. My efforts were in vain as immediately I knew you were unlike any woman I had ever known. My love for you is boundless. Pure. Forever. But so beautiful because it has your love in return. We are it for each other, baby girl. And I can’t wait. I can’t take it slow. I can’t live another day knowing how much

I love you and attempting to hold that back for the sake of it might be considered too soon. It’s not too soon. You were brought into my life right on time. I love you.” He licks his lips nervously. “Marry me?” I collapse to my knees, falling on top of him, right in front of everyone. “Yes.” Tears pour from my eyes, likely followed by my dark makeup, but who cares?

“I can’t believe you did this.” I stare down at the massive, sparkly thing. “We’ve been together a hot second.” “And we have a lifetime to figure out the rest.” His brown eyes crinkle at me. “Second thoughts?” “Not one,” I promise him. “So long as you move into my place.” “Brat.” He laughs the word and then he’s kissing me again, holding me so close and so tight against him.

He wipes the tears from my happy, smiling face. “Thank you.” His nose rubs along mine and he speaks against my lips. “Thank you, Aurelia. Thank you for reminding me what it is to live. To love. To have passion. To believe in happiness. To look forward to tomorrow. To want forever. All with you.”