The Joker (The Soldiers of Anarchy #3)

by Nikki J. Summers

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone. Ella Wheeler Wilcox

It hasn’t always been easy being me, it’s taken a few years and life lessons to get to the point I’m at today. So, I’m going to start my story by showing you the three key moments in my life, moments that made me the person I am. I would say four, but I don’t want to dwell on what happened to my mother.

So, strap yourself in. Brace yourself and get ready to be whisked back in time to experience the early life of Colton King. A boy who hadn’t yet learned about the art of smiling and laughing. A youngster desperate for someone to show him the way. A lad who needed to leave his house in order to find a home.

“He’s five years old,” Rosie stated, her fists clenched as she stood still like a statue and glared at Tina. “He’s seen more shit than any of us. And I doubt Glenn is going to be winning any father of the year awards, do you?”

“Don’t swear?” Tina huffed out a laugh. “Because that’s going to fuck him up?” She lowered her voice further, and with eyes narrowed on Rosie, she sneered, “Let’s not forget the fact that six months ago he walked in to find his mother swinging from the rafters in her bedroom.”

My mum wasn’t here anymore, and from what I could tell, you had to be ready to lose anyone at any moment because there was no promise of happiness. No forever. Life wasn’t sunshine and rainbows; that was all made up, like this book. For me, life was hushed voices, secrets, and pain. Everyone left eventually. Everyone died. They’d tell you they wouldn’t, but they all lied.

“I just hope Glenn keeps the business side of things away from him for as long as possible. Otherwise, that little boy is going to grow up to become one very fucked-up man.”

I was just thinking about how different life felt now she’d left us, scuffing my shoes on the ground and kicking pebbles as I tried to keep the tears in my eyes from falling down my cheeks. Boys don’t cry. That’s what my dad told me when I’d sobbed and hugged my mum as she dangled in the bedroom. Even my hugs hadn’t woken her up. Maybe I should’ve been a better boy; then she would’ve stayed.

“Glenn, this ain’t no place for a kid. This could fuck him up even more than he already is,” Kenny piped up again, but Dad instantly shot him down. “It’s none of your fucking business. Just do your fucking job.”

He wasn’t a good man. He’d hurt someone special to me. But I wasn’t sure I could ever see Rosie again and look her in the eye after what had happened, because I’d been bad too. I hadn’t done a thing to save her, and that meant that I was no better than my father. But one day, I would be. One day, I’d make it all right. I had to.

“If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your shitty baseball cap off,” I said, laughing at Luke.

“There’s a reason I’m an enigma to Sarah Pope. A bout of rabies would be more fun than a date with her. I’ve heard there’re lemmings that jump back onto the cliff to get away from her droning voice.”

My thoughts were always dark these days. They were darker the older I got, and I feared what the future held for a boy like me. A boy with a family that I wanted to keep hidden from the world. A dirty secret. There would be no happy tales and fond moments reminiscing about my childhood. The only pride I felt was that I’d survived this long. And it felt like the sand in my timer was running out. My resolve, my strength, was waning.

“I’m thirteen today,” I announced with more confidence than before. “Oh my God.” Grace covered her mouth, and I thought for a moment she was going to throw up, but she shook her head, closed her eyes tightly for a few seconds, then opened them, and there, in her eyes, I could see the tears she was trying to hold back. “You’re the same age as my youngest daughter.” She spoke on a whisper and then she took a deep breath, threw her head back and stated, “This isn’t happening. This… it’s not happening.”

“You’re here because your father is a sick, evil man.”

“You’re here because I needed the money and no one in this fucking town can ever say no to the mighty Glenn King.” Again, no answers, so I waited. She sighed, and then she hit me with the bombshell I knew was always coming my way. “You’re here because your father has paid me to have sex with you.”

“He wants me to teach you how to be a man, but he’s the one that needs a fucking lesson.”

“Why would he do that? What the fuck is wrong with him? You’re still a fucking child, for God’s sake.”

“I would never hurt you. I’m not a fucking paedophile. I’d rather cut my own arms off than harm a hair on your head.”

“Colton…” Grace’s voice broke through my reverie, and I blinked up at her as she stood over me. “I don’t know you, but I only have to look at you to see you’ve got a good heart, a pure heart. Too pure to survive a man like him for much longer. You’ve got to toughen up. Don’t trust so easily. Don’t give him anything that he doesn’t deserve. I can tell you’re a boy who feels things deeply, loves unapologetically; but I’m guessing that’s brought you nothing but hurt so far. Am I right?”

“Stop giving him power over you. Take back control. Own who you are and become someone you’re proud of, someone he can’t touch or hurt again.”

“I know what happened to your mum, and I’m sorry.”

“You need to do this for her, Colton. Be the soldier she couldn’t be. Fight and stand up to him. If you don’t do it now, you might never do it. Everyone knows who Glenn King is, what he stands for, but do they know Colton King? Because they should. He’s going to be a better man than his father ever was. Colton King is going to be fucking amazing, excuse my language, and you, Colton, you’re going to do great things. You’re gonna be someone. Someone better than him. Someone that people in Brinton look up to. He’s the past, and we can’t change what he’s done, but you’re the future, and that means everything.”

“Fighting doesn’t always happen with fists or as a show of strength.” She tapped the side of her head. “Sometimes the biggest battles are up here. Be clever. Let him think he’s winning but know that you hold all the cards. Knowledge is power, and he knows nothing.”

Today, I was thirteen years old. My dad had tried to destroy that, destroy me, but not anymore. I wasn’t a kid now, and that lesson in being a man he seemed determined to give me would come, only not the way he wanted it to. It would happen on my terms.

“No more fake smiles, or half smiles. You give a big smile, okay? The bigger the smile, the more you’ll feel it.”

“Smiles lead to laughter, and believe it or not, laughter can heal a lot of hurt. It makes you forget for a while.”

“I think it’ll take a lot more than a smile to forget my fucked-up family,”

“Laughter is like the windscreen wipers on your car. It might not stop the rain from falling, but it does a damn good job of keeping you going forward…

Grace was right. Smile. It fools them. And my dad was the biggest fool of all.

And that night, I swore I would always put my friends first. They were the ones who stood by me. They were the ones that made my life more bearable. They meant more to me than my family. Loyalty over blood. Brothers in arms.

I wasn’t going to take anymore bullshit. For years, I’d harboured so much anger towards my father, but no more. I had to use that anger, channel it into something worthwhile. Keeping it inside was only doing more damage, and ultimately hurting me. But things had to change. I was going to change. No more weak Colton. That was a mask I was ripping off, and I couldn’t wait to replace it with something a hell of a lot more menacing. The world wasn’t ready for what I had in mind.

I lost three friends because of my father. I lost a hell of a lot more if I really thought about it. But in return, after embracing the anger and twisting it into something I could truly master, I gained four brothers. Brothers who would stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me, no matter what. They already had, we did it for each other, and their loyalty was something I’d never had to question, despite my last name being King.

Four years ago, I was sent to a pupil referral unit as a way for the system to look like they were doing something to help me rehabilitate back into a society that was beyond fucked. And that’s where I found my people. My brothers. Boys who were the same as me. Their backgrounds weren’t identical to mine. They’d lived in financially poorer families; some with one parent, others with none, as they bounced from one foster home to another. But none of them could boast that their father was the king of porn. Why would they want to? It wasn’t exactly a badge of honour you’d want to wear with pride. However, despite the slight differences in our histories, our moral compass, code of ethics and what we stood for were so aligned, so in sync, we were like five parts of one perfect machine. Trundling down an unknown road together, taking a common path to our own righteousness. A path only we could comprehend.

We looked like a budget version of the cast of Reservoir Dogs; all dressed in our black suits, white shirts and black ties. Well, that was their look. I’d paired my suit with a white T-shirt that announced in black letters across the front, ‘Do I look like I give a fuck?’ I liked it. I thought it fit the vibe of the day to a tee.

Adam Noble was a psycho, but he was our psycho, and like Madsen in the film, he’d stop at nothing to get what he wanted. I liked his style. He was someone I always looked up to. I’d never tell him that, though. His head was big enough.

You see, lately, we’d been doing some pretty fucked-up stuff to people we thought deserved it. People from our past. We were like Batman, going all vigilante, only without the billionaire budget and self-righteousness. We called ourselves the Brinton Soldiers or Soldiers of Anarchy because that’s what we were; street soldiers creating anarchy for those that deserved our wrath. Plus, we liked feeling part of a gang. Finally belonging.

“He refuses to tip the waitress at the beginning. I’m not a tight cunt like him.” Yep, there it was. Devon’s unique quality to see and interpret what no one else could.

I put my dark sunglasses on and stood tall and proud. The last King standing, that was me, and it felt fucking awesome. I was having the last laugh.

“Devon, your knowledge of useless facts never ceases to amaze me. You’re gonna rock some lucky girl’s world one day with your huge… encyclopaedic brain.”

“We can’t all exude big dick energy like you, Colton.” He nudged me playfully with his elbow as his footsteps kept in time with mine. “Better to have a big brain,” he whispered to himself. “Said no girl ever,” I volleyed back, and earned a chuckle from Will.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Grace replied. “Looks like you took my advice. Sometimes you’ve just gotta give the world the middle finger.”

“You found your freedom. I’m so pleased for you,” Grace said. “I always thought you were too handsome to walk with your head down like you used to. You need to let the world see that gorgeous, smiling face. It’s your time now.”

“He doesn’t need your help to look like a prick, he did that all on his own,” Adam stated.

He knew what my father had put me through, what he’d put everyone through. He knew every sordid, filthy story I had to tell. They all did. And like soldiers in arms, they stood by me, supported me, letting me get my crazy out in any way I wanted to, because they knew that’s how I coped. Sometimes, crazy is the only way. Crazy is the best way, if you asked me.

“Fellas, it’s been… memorable, as always. Feel free to take a piss on his grave before you leave.”

Will had already said there was a bed for me at the flat he shared with his mum and little brother, and after tonight, that’s where I planned to go.

He’d had his burial, now it was time for me to initiate the cremation.

“My only regret,” I huffed as I started to paint the walls and floor in petrol. “Is that I waited so long to do this. That, and the fact you’re not getting burned alive in here too. It’s what you deserved.”

“Ashes to ashes, motherfucker. Burn in hell,” I said with a grin to the ghost of my father. Then I threw my lighter down to the ground and walked backwards to the safety of the lawn, away from the flames that began to crawl and lick across the floor.