The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness

by Robert Waldinger

the happiest and most satisfied adults were those who managed to turn the question “What can I do for myself?” into “What can I do for the world beyond me?”

There is even some research that suggests that it’s these unexpected turns, and not any plan, that most define a person’s life and can lead to periods of growth. One wrench thrown into the machine can be more significant than all the gears of planned action combined.

Time and attention are not something we can replenish. They are what our life is. When we offer our time and attention, we are not merely spending and paying. We are giving our lives.

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”

As we said earlier, we are always comparing our insides to other people’s outsides, always comparing our own experiences of ups and downs, good days and bad days, feelings of confidence and insecurity, with the curated version of life that others show us. This happens most starkly on social media, where we’re quick to post photos of a good time at a restaurant or beach vacation, but rarely balance those out with the reality of dinner table arguments or bad hangovers. This imbalance means that when we compare our lives with the pictures that others show us on social media, it’s easy to feel like the good life is something that only other people are enjoying.