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June 1 - July 3, 2023
As we age, we become concerned both that we’re too needy and that people won’t be there for us when we really need them.
Social isolation is a danger.
we have to learn how to balance an awareness of death with staying engaged with life.
the unexpected is perfectly ordinary.
circumstances and chance help determine the trajectory.
these unexpected turns, and not any plan, that most define a person’s life and can lead to periods of growth.
the unexpected—and how we respond to it—will change the course of our lives.
Man plans, and God laughs.
Stepping back now and then to take a wider view, to place ourselves and the people we care about into the context of a longer life, is a great way to inject empathy and understanding into our relationships.
No road is long with good company.
stress affected the immune system.
the wounds of the caregivers took nine days longer to heal.
the slow erasure of important relationships in their lives, was preventing their bodies from healing.
Never before has so much human life taken place in a seated position, and a great deal of the physical work we do is repetitive and potentially damaging.
we have to make a conscious effort to move.
We have to overcome the currents of modern life.
The same is true for soci...
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like muscles, neglected relationships atrophy. Our social life is a living system. And it needs exercise.
assessing our social fitness requires a bit more sustained self-reflection.
being honest with ourselves about where we’re devoting our time and whether we are
tending to the connections that help us thrive.
Looking in the mirror and thinking honestly about where your life stands is a first step in trying to live a good life. Noticing
Putting a positive spin on every matter and then pushing it out of his mind made it possible for him to believe that nothing was wrong, that he was fine, he was happy, his kids didn’t need him.
When you’re lonely, it hurts. And
It has a physical effect on the body.
the loneliest group were 16–24-year-olds,
lonely people are less productive and more prone to employment turnover—is
loneliness is a subjective experience. One
the average American spent an astonishing eleven hours every day interacting with media, from television to radio to smartphones.
Are you spending time with the people you most care about? Is there a relationship in your life that would benefit both of you if you could spend more time together? These untapped resources are often already in our life, waiting.
because this source of vitality is eclipsed by the shiny allure of smartphones and TV or pushed to the side by work demands.
time spent with others
this measurement was clearly linked with happiness.
the people who were in more satisfied relationships were buffered somewhat from these ups and downs of mood—their happiness did not decline as much on the days when they had more pain.
Their happy marriages protected their moods even on the days when they had more pain.
the frequency and the quality of our contact with other people are two major predictors of happiness.
So where do we start? How can we come closer to seeing the reality of our own social universe?
First, ask: Who is in my life?
What is the character of these relationships?
quality and the frequency of contact
How a relationship makes you feel, and 2) How often that happens.
energizing and depleting?
how you feel when you are with these individuals.
It makes you feel better than you would feel if you were alone.
A depleting relationship induces tension, frustration, or anxiety, and makes you feel worried, or even demoralized.
