I also remember the other people who said, later, trying to comfort me, “At least you never knew the baby.” Meaning: At least you didn’t meet the baby, hold the baby, name the baby, love the baby. At least the baby wasn’t part of your family. There is a difference between what is built in the body and what is built in the imagination. I’d already considered myself a mother of two. I’d already thought of Violet as a big sister.
