Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter, #5)

by J.K. Rowling

“Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!” shrieked Mrs. Figg. “Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!”

Harry’s uncle came galumphing out of the living room, walrus mustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated.

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.

“Hello, Harry,” he said grimly, “I see you’ve met my mother.”

Three helpings of rhubarb crumble and custard later and the waistband on Harry’s jeans was feeling uncomfortably tight (which was saying something, as the jeans had once been Dudley’s).

He’s not your son,” said Sirius quietly. “He’s as good as,” said Mrs. Weasley fiercely. “Who else has he got?”

“But Dumbledore says he doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t take him off the Chocolate Frog cards,” said Bill, grinning.

“HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF —” “SHUT UP!” roared Mrs. Weasley.

with the possible exception of Professor Quirrell, who did at least appear to have restricted himself to age-appropriate subjects — would have passed a Ministry inspection —” “Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher,” said Harry loudly, “there was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.” This pronouncement was followed by one of the loudest silences Harry had ever heard. Then — “I think another week’s detentions would do you some good, Mr. Potter,” said Umbridge sleekly.

You know what?” Ron murmured, looking over at the bar with enthusiasm. “We could order anything we liked in here, I bet that bloke would sell us anything, he wouldn’t care. I’ve always wanted to try firewhisky —” “You — are — a — prefect,” snarled Hermione.

Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?” inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko’s bags. “Or any part of your body, really, we’re not fussy where we stick this,” said Fred.

“I DID IT!” said Neville gleefully. “I’ve never done it before — I DID IT!” “Good one!” said Harry encouragingly, deciding not to point out that in a real duel situation Neville’s opponent was unlikely to be staring in the opposite direction with his wand held loosely at his side.

“And banning Fred when he didn’t even do anything!” said Alicia furiously, pummeling her knee with her fist. “It’s not my fault I didn’t,” said Fred, with a very ugly look on his face. “I would’ve pounded the little scumbag to a pulp if you three hadn’t been holding me back.”

Dobby had taken it upon himself to decorate the place for Christmas. He could tell the elf had done it, because nobody else would have strung a hundred golden baubles from the ceiling, each showing a picture of Harry’s face and bearing the legend HAVE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS!

Ron,” said Hermione in a dignified voice, dipping the point of her quill into her ink pot, “you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune to meet.”

“This is Firenze,” said Dumbledore happily to a thunderstruck Umbridge. “I think you’ll find him suitable.”

yeah screw yiu, UmBITCH

should have made my meaning plainer,” said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in the eyes. “He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.”

HARRY POTTER RESCUE MISSION

Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness —”

Indeed, Professor McGonagall sank back into her chair at the staff table after a few feeble remonstrances and was clearly heard to express a regret that she could not run cheering after Umbridge herself, because Peeves had borrowed her walking stick.