Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter, #5)

by J.K. Rowling

“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” “Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.

“Right,” said Harry. He noticed that her hands too bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry.

He’s so petty for that

“No,” Harry lied defiantly.

I love him so much

“BUT WHY SHOULD I KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON? WHY SHOULD ANYONE BOTHER TO TELL ME WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING?”

Let it all out, Harry

“Time is Galleons, little brother,” said Fred.

He’s an entrepreneur

“Yoooou!” she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of the man. “Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!” “I said — shut — UP!” roared the man, and with a stupendous effort he and Lupin managed to force the curtains closed again.

It’s Walburga of course

“Hello, Harry,” he said grimly, “I see you’ve met my mother.”

Iconic

“We’ve been trying to get her down for a month but we think she put a Permanent Sticking Charm on the back of the canvas. Let’s get downstairs, quick, before they all wake up again.”

Haha the sticking charm

There was something about the slightly flattened tone of voice in which Sirius uttered Dumbledore’s name that told Harry that Sirius was not very happy with the headmaster either. Harry felt a sudden upsurge of affection for his godfather.

Same Harry

“I think it depends what they’re offered,” said Lupin. “And I’m not talking about gold; if they’re offered freedoms we’ve been denying them for centuries they’re going to be tempted.

Goblins are enslaved too?!

“It’s not down to you to decide what’s good for Harry!” said Mrs. Weasley sharply. Her normally kindly face looked dangerous. “You haven’t forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?”

Actually, I believe it is up to him because that’s his godson

“They’re still at school —” “But they’re legally adults now,” said Mr. Weasley in the same tired voice. Mrs. Weasley was now scarlet in the face.

Oh my God, everyone’s arguing

“I’ve just been feeding Buckbeak,” he added, in reply to Harry’s inquiring look. “I keep him upstairs in my mother’s bedroom. Anyway . . . this writing desk . . .”

Anyway.., lmao

“Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!” said Sirius irritably, and he slammed the door shut on the elf. “Sirius, he’s not right in the head,” said Hermione pleadingly, “I don’t think he realizes we can hear him.”

“Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal . . . my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them . . . that’s him.”

From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don’t just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It’s a lifetime of service or death.”

He pointed to another small round burn mark between two names, Bellatrix and Narcissa.

“Lestrange . . .” Harry said aloud. The name had stirred something in his memory; he knew it from somewhere, but for a moment he couldn’t think where, though it gave him an odd, creeping sensation in the pit of his stomach. “They’re in Azkaban,” said Sirius shortly.

“Kreacher wasn’t quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers last week.”

Kreacher… the fuck

“I’ll sponsor you to shut up about spew,” Ron muttered irritably, but only so Harry could hear him.

Ron, this is why people ship dramione

“We do try,” said Ron. “We just haven’t got your brains or your memory or your concentration — you’re just cleverer than we are — is it nice to rub it in?” “Oh, don’t give me that rubbish,” said Hermione, but she looked slightly mollified as she led the way out into the damp courtyard.

They’re so cute

CLEAN CAULDRON KEEPS POTIONS FROM BECOMING POISONS and ANTIDOTES ARE ANTI-DON’TS UNLESS APPROVED BY A QUALIFIED HEALER.

I’m the weapon, Harry thought,

Yikes

“So that’s it, is it?” he said loudly. “Stay there? That’s all anyone could tell me after I got attacked by those dementors too! Just stay put while the grown-ups sort it out, Harry! We won’t bother telling you

anything, though, because your tiny little brain might not be able to cope with it!”

“It’s you lot who won’t look at me!” said Harry angrily. “Maybe you’re taking it in turns to look and keep missing each other,” suggested Hermione, the corners of her mouth twitching.

Hermione 😆

I’m not the weapon after all, thought Harry.

Well..,

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts,

They got him a joint present? How Wolfstar of them

“I’ve warned you, Snivellus,” said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Snape’s, “I don’t care if Dumbledore thinks you’ve reformed, I know better —”

He’s so stuck in high school

had a bad feeling about this parting; he did not know when they would next see each other and felt that it was incumbent upon him to say something to Sirius to stop him doing anything stupid

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled. “Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers!

He’s so fucking mean

But Cho did not sound as though she thought it was nice at all; on the contrary, her tone was cold and all of a sudden she looked rather forbidding.

She’s Jealous, but of course he’s super clueless

“I came in here with Cedric last year,” said Cho.

Jesus Christ Cho

And it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think I am too,” Hermione added as an afterthought.

She’s so hilarious

“Harry, you’re worse than Ron. . . . Well, no, you’re not,” she sighed,

Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to the startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister of Magic, and have twelve children.

I love her

“I’m really, really sorry. That interview was so brave . . . it made me cry.”

Girl everything makes you cry

I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course — but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.”

I hate him but he slays

“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts . . . but you cannot deny he’s got style . . .”

Exactly

“Oh yes, I forgot — of course, if it was darling Hermione’s idea —” “Don’t start crying again,” said Harry warningly. “I wasn’t going to!” she shouted.

Oh Harry yikes

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”

She read him to filth

“Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius.

Omg… this is exactly like fanon Sirius and I love it

What was making Harry feel so horrified and unhappy was not being shouted at or having jars thrown at him — it was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a circle of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him, and that judging from what he had just seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him.

For nearly five years the thought of his father had been a source of comfort, of inspiration. Whenever someone had told him he was like James he had glowed with pride inside. And now . . . now he felt cold and miserable at the thought of him.

“— which means that this boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.” “A very good chance, then,” said Professor McGonagall.

What’s 4 + 4

And then he remembered Sirius in the fire upstairs in the Gryffindor common room . . . “You’re less like your father than I thought. . . . The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James . . .” But did he want to be like his father anymore?

He also suspected that part of his mind — the part that often spoke in Hermione’s voice — now felt guilty on the occasions it strayed down that corridor ending in the black door, and sought to wake him before he could reach journey’s end.

Hermione being his inner voice is crazy 😂

Even the sight of her chatting animatedly to Roger Davies as they prepared to mount their brooms caused him only a slight twinge of jealousy.

Oh he’s so over it

Did things with a wand I’d never seen before . . .”

What did he do 👀

“You . . . This isn’t a criticism, Harry! But you do . . . sort of . . . I mean — don’t you think you’ve got a bit of a — a — saving-people-thing?” she said.