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I can see the pain in the flat pools of his eyes, his outstretched hands an invitation for me to fall with him.
I’m a feasting beast, and no matter how many times I stab, hack, kill, I’m still ravenous.
Pressure swells until I can hardly see through the blood in my eyes, and I’m certain my skull has just as many fractures as my heart.
All I can see is Zane holding up that golden token—begging for his life. All I can feel is Rhordyn’s warm kiss upon my forehead. I smile at Cainon as he whips back the sword. Laughing, I tip my head and bare my bound throat—hoping for a clean slice. Because I’m done.
My heart leaps into my throat, the commanding baritone a blow from behind, like a rope snagging around my knees, almost pulling my legs out from under me. Slowly, I turn. My heart stops.
“I got you in the heart …” “You missed.” “Impossible.” I know where to strike. Baze taught me well. “I felt it push through!” “Sorry to disappoint,”
“I— I thought you were a—” “Monster? I am.” “—murderer.” “Also correct,” he bites out, like he tore the words from a carcass and spat them at me. “I thought you fed on people!” There’s the faintest softening of his eyes. “Only one. Now and forever.”
“You can’t handle my worst. You stabbed me in the heart. By mistake. Because Cainon told you to.”
“Did it make you feel better, Serren? Watching me bleed for you?”
“Did. It. Make. You. Feel. Fucking. Better?” My mouth opens; closes. I want to speak. To tell him I didn’t want to live in a world without him. That I still don’t. I want to tell him that I don’t just love him. That a single four-letter word could never define the way I feel, nor could it explain the way my soul bled with his absence, driving me to do things that will always stick to my skin like a layer of filth.
“You bare your throat like that again and the entire world will suffer.” My heart skips a beat as he leans back an inch, looking at me with a hardness that dwarfs every other look he’s ever given me. “I can’t be held accountable for what rips out of me if I’m forced to watch you die.”
How do I tell him I wasn’t baring my throat to Cainon’s sword but to the weight of my lethal existence? My face crumbles.
“I’d rather perish.” He cuts me a look so damaging I feel it slice into my bones. I wince. Wrong choice of words after our earlier conversation.
I look down at my hands, certain they’re covered in blood. That it’s drying, cracking. Those same cracks weaving through my chest. Don’t cry.
For some reason, it makes the backs of my eyes sting. I blink, but continue to hold his gaze, something in those inky depths screaming for me to trust him. Problem is, I don’t trust myself. Not now. Not ever. “I’ll wait forever, Milaje.”
“What happened to your chest?” I raise a brow. Her cheeks redden.
He’s everywhere. All around me, pouring into my lungs in bursts of deep, frosty musk. He’s the single element my heart is pumping through my veins in rapid beats.
He’s watching me through the reflection. Watching me watch him. Undress.
“If you run, you’re mine,” he says, so deadly soft I barely catch it over the pattering rain.
Hate … The love I have for this man has grown on a foundation of that four-letter word. He’s seen so many of my ugly sides. I’ve seen so many of his. We’re both bruised from the battle it took us to get here, but tall trees uproot in windstorms if the hole isn’t dug deep enough to tether to the soil. Love him today, hate him tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere. I flick him a smile, turn on my heel, and run.
I’m playing with fire, I know I am, but I’m not leaving until I burn.
Instead, I relish the way his gaze hungers over every inch of my naked body, smelting my bones. “But we need to have a chat about giving your back to circling monsters.” “But you’re my monster.” I smile as he crosses before me, and I swear his breath stills. “You don’t count.”
“Give her to me!” The plea scrapes my throat raw. “Please!” I’ve never begged. Not once. But I’ll stay on my knees until I feel that flame sputter out. Then … I’ll rip the world to shreds.
“Your first mistake was assuming a measly four-letter word could encapsulate the way I feel for her,”
“Your second was assuming I’ll ever let her go. Make a third and we’re done.”
I’m looking into the amethyst eyes of someone who fills my chest entirely, her hand on my cheek, regret in her watery gaze. My heart breaks even before she calls it a mistake.
I’m inside her, and I never want to leave. She runs her hands across my shoulders and kisses me like I’m fragile. Like she’s not scared of me. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like a monster. This is all that matters. Us. The world can fuck itself. Fate will never find her.
