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November 18 - November 23, 2023
I don’t exactly know how to talk about them, except to say that they were all almost beautiful, but not quite. I think I mean that in the way they came and went; they hurt your eyes, just a bit, they shivered between here and there just a bit, between gone and back and almost, just so. They felt dangerously lovely,
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I couldn’t stop. I swear I couldn’t stop. “You don’t belong anywhere at all! And I’m sorry for you, I really am.” She didn’t even blink. She just stood there, looking at me. And while she was looking at me, and while I was still yammering, I learned a terrible thing. The worst thing in this world is not to lose all you have. The worst thing in this world is not having your heart broken. Loss passes, pain passes—even heartbreak passes. The very worst thing in this world is to hurt a heart that cares for you. I know that now.
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And trees that were nearly like trees the way I remembered trees: tall and slender as saplings, but somehow, they didn’t look like saplings. They had dark silver trunks and bright leaves the color I imagined the ocean to be, and where the sun shone right down on them, they glittered like blue jewels. But the trunks, lovely as they were, had a strangely temporary air about them, as though traveling troupes had propped them up for a village performance. As though they could be taken down at midnight, fast, for the next town. I’d never have thought that about trees once.
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