A Not So Meet Cute

by Meghan Quinn

“Just double-checking. Can never be too sure. If you found the right woman, you would come home early?” “If I found the right woman, I’d be far more interested in fucking her against every surface of my house rather than answering monotonous emails or buying a business partner a drink.”

oh! 🤠

Now, with our favorite coffee in hand, I walk up to Kelsey’s apartment, excited to see her and give her all the gory details. I knock on the door and wait. It’s early, but hopefully she’s up and ready for the day. The door opens and— “What the actual fuck are you doing here?” I ask Huxley, who stands on the other side of the door. In a sarcastic tone, he says, “You didn’t give me a kiss goodbye.” Pushing past him, I say, “Crawl up your own scrotum and drown.”

GAG HIMMMM OMG