Not So Thanks in Advance (Warts & Claws Inc., #3)

by Clio Evans

“Uh,” Jaehan cleared his throat. “I have an extra shirt if you need one, friend.”

“What the fuck?” “What do you mean what the fuck?” I asked. “Why the fuck are you coming to work shirtless?” “Because I’m fucking invisible,” he said, staring at me like I was a ghost.

“Uh. What’s in the cage?” “A demon named Biscuit, but Inferna says it’s her aunt’s naked cat. But this thing is ancient and looks like a crusty mole with eyes that stare into your soul. Somehow we are watching it for the week. I don’t know why.”

“I’m not trying to be an ass, but I don’t know what you want me to do with this information, Billy. It’s not even 8:30 a.m., I’m babysitting a cat from hell, and Charlie is a solid employee who doesn’t seem to have done anything wrong.”

The possibility that I had stepped into an elevator with the two individuals in the world who were my mates, was impossible.

“Is it because I can see you? Or because you apparently don’t wear clothing to the office? You know that’s some people’s nightmare. To come to work without certain clothes on. But here you are, living their nightmare like a happy little dream.”

“Tell me now. What do you want for breakfast? A demon and a witch? Or some of the fucking bland eggs and toast.”

“Don’t run,” Billy growled behind me. “If you run, I will have to catch you.”

I was now sandwiched between a six-eyed demon and a tentacled monster, and both of them were hard for me.

He let out a moan, writhing against Charlie’s tentacles. “Billy,” he groaned. When I had walked into work this morning, I didn’t know I would end up fucking the witch I’d been stalking since I first saw him. I also didn’t know it would be with a virgin tentacled monster who no one else could see but us.

“Food, three dicks, and a phone for Charlie.”

There were many mornings I had been drinking carton milk when Hunter had made another surprised yelp after finding a thousand dollars under his pillow. At one point, he had told a friend there was a tooth fairy in the house, but they stole his things and gave him cash. I’d never known fairies to give humans money. They just seemed to trap them and steal their souls, but what did I know?

“You did so well taking my tentacle down your throat too,” he said. “Thrusting in and out of you. You just let me use you over and over again like a good little slut.”

“What do you want?” Charlie asked, his smile softening. “I want you to use me however you want,” I said, my voice lowering. I swallowed hard, feeling like I was about to reveal secrets about myself. “Even if I’m asleep, I want you to touch me if you want to. We would talk about consent and everything beforehand but….I like the idea of waking up from a dream wrapped in your tentacles.”

“What do you want?” I asked. “All of what you said and a little more. I like the idea of breeding you until you can’t think straight. And I like the idea of sounding your cock with one of my smaller tentacles.”

Food, snuggles, and tentacle sex until Billy got home sounded like a dream come true.

“Take every inch like a good boy and then I will allow you to cum. And maybe that will teach you a lesson about being such a fucking brat.”