Not So Thanks in Advance (Warts & Claws Inc., #3)

by Clio Evans

pink. “What the fuck?” “What do you mean what the fuck?” I asked. “Why the fuck are you coming to work shirtless?” “Because I’m fucking invisible,” he said, staring at me like I was a ghost.

“A demon named Biscuit, but Inferna says it’s her aunt’s naked cat. But this thing is ancient and looks like a crusty mole with eyes that stare into your soul. Somehow we are watching it for the week. I don’t know why.”

The human was named Hunter, and he fully believed he was haunted, but it was fine. He had a great computer set up with games and was about the same size as me, so using his clothes wasn’t too bad.

There were many mornings I had been drinking carton milk when Hunter had made another surprised yelp after finding a thousand dollars under his pillow. At one point, he had told a friend there was a tooth fairy in the house, but they stole his things and gave him cash. I’d never known fairies to give humans money. They just seemed to trap them and steal their souls, but what did I know?

“Biscuit has offered to eat you,” Inferna said, smirking over the rim of her mug.

My eyes flew open and I looked at Alex, glaring. “Rise and shine, demon summoner. You’re officially the world’s worst boss.”

“Your highschool sweetheart chained us up and told me about his revenge plot on you since you’re not gonna be his boyfriend,” I said. “And now, everyone I love is going to die and our office is going to be wiped out.”