Not So Thanks in Advance (Warts & Claws Inc., #3)

by Clio Evans

I liked hell. I was a demon, after all. A monster. A creature that craved a little chaos in the morning with my eggs and toast.

“Uh. What’s in the cage?” “A demon named Biscuit, but Inferna says it’s her aunt’s naked cat. But this thing is ancient and looks like a crusty mole with eyes that stare into your soul. Somehow we are watching it for the week. I don’t know why.”

“I’m not trying to be an ass, but I don’t know what you want me to do with this information, Billy. It’s not even 8:30 a.m., I’m babysitting a cat from hell, and Charlie is a solid employee who doesn’t seem to have done anything wrong.”

The possibility that I had stepped into an elevator with the two individuals in the world who were my mates, was impossible.

I was the figure that humans sometimes swore they saw. A shadow out of the corner of their eyes, a shape in their windows as I walked by. I was a ghost, a monster, a creature that haunted everything that lived.

“Tell me now. What do you want for breakfast? A demon and a witch? Or some of the fucking bland eggs and toast.”

“Don’t run,” Billy growled behind me. “If you run, I will have to catch you.”

I was now sandwiched between a six-eyed demon and a tentacled monster, and both of them were hard for me.

There were many mornings I had been drinking carton milk when Hunter had made another surprised yelp after finding a thousand dollars under his pillow. At one point, he had told a friend there was a tooth fairy in the house, but they stole his things and gave him cash. I’d never known fairies to give humans money. They just seemed to trap them and steal their souls, but what did I know?

A tear slid down my cheek, and one of my tentacles lifted, swiping it away. It hurt to feel like this. It hurt to feel cared for.

They could see me, and I would do everything I could to prove I could be loved.

“She’s a great cat and if you piss her off and die, I won’t have any remorse.” Art made a face. “Don’t piss the cat off, she likes to take revenge.”

If the lesson was getting fucked like this, then I would be a brat forever.