Gravity

by Tal Bauer

“I have watched you play for two years. C'est bon de te rencontrer enfin.”

It's good to finally meet you

I could faint. I could also puke, right onto the ice, right between his skates. “Hi,” I squeak. “I wear your number.”

“Enchanté.” Bryce's grin grows. “I wear your number, too.”

I have my hands wrapped in a death grip around my stick, my eyes peeled as I stare sidelong at the Eighth Wonder of the World. The first wonder of my own personal world.

Bravo, chaton,”

“Kitten. Because you are ferocious, non?”

This is the best hockey I’ve ever played. This is how I skate when I’m alone, because no one else can keep up with me. Except now, Hunter can.

Hunter looks down and meets my gaze. The world falls away, swallowed by those black holes that have been opening around me. The only thing left is him.

Calisse, he is everything I have been searching for.

I want to risk it. I want to trace my fingers down the side of his face, push the long strands of his hair behind his ear and cup his jaw. Run my thumb across his stubble.

We are compatible, on the ice and off.

I want him to keep talking forever. I never want this night to end, because I've clicked with Bryce in a way I rarely do with anyone.

“I’ve wanted to do this all day…”

I’ve never kissed a man before. Hell, I’ve barely kissed women. And

I fell in love with my hope, and I hoped for him.

It’s a cruelty, to have something—someone—who fits so perfectly within you, and yet, they will never be a part of your life. To taste wonder and lose it, and then to dream of what-ifs and maybes and wish your life were different.

“Non, none of this is your fault, Hunter. It’s all mine. I’m the one who kissed you. I’m the one who fell for you. I’m the one who cannot get you out of my head.”

I miss you,”

I miss you so much.”

“Calisse… I cannot breathe, Hunter. I'm drowning. I feel like I'm screaming underwater and there's no one around to pull me to shore.”

I think I’m gay,”

“I’m not sure if I'm straight,”

“Ne me fais pas ça, Hunter.” I can barely hear him. His voice is trembling “Please, s’il te plaît. Don’t give me any hope. I need to move past this. S’il te plaît, leave my heart broken.”

Don't do this to me

“Why me?”

“You know, you were my first kiss.”

“Non. My first with a man. So, peut être, the first I really wanted. And yours is the only kiss I cannot get out of my head.”

maybe

“You are my weakness, Hunter.”

This is the man I have been missing. Not my hero. Not the man from the posters on my teenage walls. The real Bryce, the man from midnights and empty drives and lonely rivers, and the man who looked me in the eyes and dared to risk everything because, somehow, I made his heart beat faster.

You are enough for me.”

“Bryce, you are more than enough for me.”

“I am head over heels for you.”

He looks too much like he does in my dreams when my imagination of him whispers, “Je te desire. Mon coeur bat la chamade pour toi.”

I desire you. My heart beats racing for you.

“I didn’t know then, but I think I do now. I think we were meant to find each other, and I think we were meant to do this all together. Everything. Play this game, live our lives. Be us. That’s what I want, Bryce. I want you. I want to be with you, on the ice and off. I’ve held you after a goal, but now I want to hold you like this. And… more.”

Les rêves deviennent-ils réalité?

Do dreams come true?

“Je t’adore,”

I adore you

Hunter—mon coeur…

My heart

I die the first of what I hope will be a thousand deaths in his arms, and he follows me over the edge, burying his face in my neck as we shatter.

Hunter said I think we were meant to find each other. Non, nous étions fait l'un pour l'autre. We were made for each other.

No, we were made for each other

Je suis à toi.”

I am yours

Yes, this is right. Yes, this is what I want. Yes, he is who I adore. Yes, I could fall in love with him.

“Mon coeur,”

My heart

Je t'adore.”

I adore you

“Je t'appartiens.”

I belong to you

“You aren't going to scare me away.” Another kiss to his temple. “I want this as much as you do, Bryce.”

“I said you were my weakness. But that's not the truth. My fear is my weakness, and for weeks, non, maybe months, my fears have been set on fire inside me. My fears and my pain have been in control of me.” He lays his hand on my bare chest. His blue eyes are burning, catching the light and holding on to it until he's lit from within. “The truth is, Hunter, mon coeur… you are my strength.”

I am Bryce's biggest fan. He's the brightest star in my sky, a man I look up to not only as the best athlete in my sport, but because he is an incredible human being. He still is my hero, not because he plays hockey or because he is the next Great One. He is my hero because he is Bryce.

“Dors bien, mon coeur.”

Sleep well, my heart

Je veux être avec toi pour toujours.”

I want to be with you forever

Moi aussi, je veux être avec toi pour toujours.”

I too want to be with you forever

Tu me fais tourner la tête,”

You make my head spin