For a shy girl unused to men, it is easier to hurl the moon from the sky than it is to turn away from a man who truly wishes to pursue her. And so I ended up on awkward dates, and engaged in awkward kisses. And sometimes I ended up, aimless, in their beds. It had never been an enjoyable experience for me. It was wanted, expected, by the men, and at least it put me on somewhat the same footing as the young women I knew. I may not have had any pleasure, but by doing it at least I felt a little less strange, a little less alien to my own species. I supposed it was worth it for that.
