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Maybe it was microscopic. Maybe it was inadequate. Maybe it was meager. Maybe it was insignificant. Or, maybe it was invisible. It couldn’t have been because I felt very visible. Exposed, even. Vulnerable to the highest degree. Which was why I peeped over my shoulder and out of the small windows that we passed each time I lifted and lowered my feet to the floor.
train? bus?
My heart ached for her, for us. She, too, was feeling the effects of our sudden relocation. My babies deserved to be home sleeping in their beds, but things beyond my control had led us here with the three of us crammed into a space designed for two.
🥺
The bus driver made the final call for boarding as he prepared to close the doors for our trip to begin. I pressed the side button on my phone to light the screen. It was nearly one-thirty, our official departure time.
okay sooo they’re on a bus
Dewayne had put his hands on me for the last time, and instead of retaliating or physically harming him as payback, I chose my sanity and safety. Because mentally and emotionally, I’d left him two years ago. I was just waiting for the physical aspect to follow. My only fear was the lack of financial resources that I had for myself and children, but after so long, being broke wasn’t the worst of my fears. Staying committed to failure was.
yes she got away from that man
We’d hardly made it out of the station, but the freedom I felt was indescribable, so instead of attempting to place or describe the feeling, I allowed myself to just feel. That’s all I wanted and needed. To feel.
That was before I’d gotten accepted into a culinary school for my degree and moved six hours from Channing. That was before I met Dewayne and put my dreams on pause, quitting school mere months before I was set to graduate. It was before Essence and even Emorey. It was even before I’d discovered my pregnancy with Dylan and lost him.
lord she’s been through an abusive relationship and loss of a child? god please spare her
Baisleigh’s House. The brunch house was hiring for a new waitress and special events coordinator. The roles were intertwined and after a quick glance at the base pay, my interest was piqued.
girl you better snatch that position
I scrolled, tapped fill blanks, and uploaded documents stored in my files before submitting the application for consideration.
she came prepared 👏🏽👏🏽
Almost out of the city that had caused me more pain than it had brought me progress. Almost away from the man who’d cornered me with his financial, physical, emotional, and mental abuse. Almost back where I started. Almost where I belonged and where I could thrive. Almost home.
Everything will work itself out – even if it doesn’t look like it right now.
I checked the screen, noticing another blocked call trying to get through. It didn’t take a genius to know who was behind the blocked calls. Dewayne had finally gotten home and noticed we weren’t there waiting for him.
serves him right
It was too late for the apology that he mustered after each fight. It was too late for the shopping spree or the trip or the new car.
Changed behavior was the only apology I was accepting, now, from myself or anyone else.
exactly!
Much more alert, she made her way through the store, lacing her hands into Essence’s. When the two of them stopped near the front of the store where the snacks were located, I gnawed on the inner corner of my lip, trying to find the words to tell my children that we had to get going and couldn’t stop for snacks. It
girls yall don’t have time to look around get back on that bus 😭
“One thing, girls,” I caved, unable to deny them of their instant gratification. “Okay, Mommy,” Essence called out, taking a look over her shoulder to let me know she understood.
🥹 ever is such a great mommy
Dee called me. He wants to know if I know where you are. It was my mother. Obviously, he’d taken desperate measures and reached out to her at ungodly hours.
not he reached out to her mom 😒
Are we really okay? I wondered. I feel okay. I feel free. That’s better than okay, I reasoned with myself. Satisfied, I let the question go and watched as my girls hurt their teeth and gums with the sugary snacks they’d chosen while watching their iPads. They’re okay, I concluded.
and that’s all that matters
She had been so focused on the task at hand that nothing else mattered, but as soon as she noticed Lyric, she dropped the ball. Her suitcase fell to the ground as she let the handle go and ran toward Lyric, who was kneeled and waiting to embrace her. The two loved each other dearly. They’d formed a bond that I never saw coming, but was beautiful to watch.
awww they love their tt
My eyes fell, finding and then following her hands as they sat neatly banded and stacked bills in my lap. Each band had a $1000 label on it. With furrowed brows and an aching chest, I turned a bit more in my seat and begged for an explanation from Lyric.
LYRIC IS A GODSEND 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
“Lyric.” I couldn’t gather anything else. That was all I had. That was all that would come out. “I have to pay you back. I promise I will.” “Win, Ever. That’s how you can pay me back,” she responded,
and that’s what true friendship is—they don’t expect or want anything in return. they want to see you succeed.
