It Was an Ugly Couch Anyway: And Other Thoughts on Moving Forward

by Elizabeth Passarella

It was as if the couch was simultaneously recoiling from and regurgitating a vegetable it didn’t care for.

they were the softest rabbits I have ever felt. It was like running my hand over a sea of baby eyelashes.

My point is, weird things happen. And in times of uncertainty you can find your footing with faith, but it helps to have monetary backup.

Susan is excellent in emergencies. She is levelheaded and asks good questions and can run fast, if it’s required,

My philosophy about diseases was that anything I’d never heard of certainly couldn’t kill you, and shouldn’t he just come home and rest?

His face changed from lifeless to startled, his eyes shifting back and forth like he’d been dropped in the middle of a den of squirrels.

the heart has plumbing and electricity. Cardiologists are the plumbers. Electrophysiologists are the electricians.

Would it be wise for me to learn CPR? Probably, yes. Might I attempt it when my husband is just a bit too still for a bit too long while lying on the couch? Also yes.

peeled off their own four walls like shapewear at the end of a wedding, and went looking for something roomier.

It’s like playing word Jenga, or composing tidy, little fashion haikus.

I eat oysters and escargot and have sucked Cheeto dust off of my toddler’s fingers without batting an eye. Salmon is the one food that everyone I know seems to enjoy, and I’d rather swallow my Apple Watch band right now.

after that meeting I thought, I can’t take off enough parts of me to fit in.

This may be unpopular, but I do think there’s a time and a place to button up and be respectful and try to learn something, within reason.

Lakes in the North are cold and clear and beautiful. That’s not what I’m talking about. Lakes in the South can be surrounded by nothing but flat fields and are the temperature of urine,