During the early months of talking to Lois, when I wanted things to move fast, I prayed a lot. I wanted something! I’m human. And after a while I noticed a change. I began to hold the idea of the apartment loosely, as if in open hands. I began to say things like, “If it’s meant to be, it will work out, and if it doesn’t, then God has another apartment that we are supposed to live in.” Maybe there was a family or a friend we were supposed to make in a new building, a community we’d adore, even if it came through the heartbreak of losing Lois’s place. I sounded downright Zen, which is not like
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