Once Forbidden, Twice Shy

by Carrie Aarons

“Ignoring you was so fucking hard, cookie. Do you know that I remember the exact outfit you wore on your first day of high school? It’s burned into my brain, because it was the first time I knew for damn sure that no other girl would get under my skin the way you did. For years, I ignored every flip of your hair, every sway of your hips. I ignored the fuckboy idiots at our high school who tried to get you to go out with them. I ignored the pull to sneak into your room every time I slept over because of your brother. Christmases, birthdays, summer vacations … it was so fucking hard not to get you alone and finally admit everything I’d been feeling for you. And then came that night, and you looked so happy and perfect. It had been more than a year since I’d seen you, and I just couldn’t help myself. I shouldn’t have, not after … Taylor, there are things you don’t know that would change how you see me. But trust me, ignoring you has been death by a thousand, silent cuts.” Well, fuck my weak, pathetic heart. The heart that has belonged to him since Kit brought him home for their first playdate after first grade. “You shouldn’t say things like that to me. I told you not to.”