Paris: A Memoir for Young Women in the Age of Influencers

by Paris Hilton

I was never medicated as a kid—never tested for ADHD, as far as I know. Even if you have the most wonderful, loving parents in the world (and I do), diagnosis doesn’t always happen early, especially for girls who are good at hiding the symptoms. Treatment of ADHD has traditionally focused on squashing undesirable behavior. In the 1980s, people had just started talking about being hyper or being on “the spectrum.” No one ever said, “Relax, little girl. There are many different kinds of intelligence.” Instead, people told me I was dumb, bratty, careless, ungrateful, or not applying myself. And none of that was true. I had to be creative and work hard to fit in, but I’m naturally creative and hardworking, so I was in it every day, grinding away, trying to fit in, until I grew strong enough to say, “Fuck fitting in,” which is what I intend to teach my children from the beginning, no matter what their neurodevelopmental profile happens to be. As an adult, I’ve been medication-fluid. When I was in my early twenties, a doctor explained what was “wrong” with me and put me on Adderall. That was a love/hate relationship that went on for about twenty years—me and Adderall—until Carter and I met with Dr. Hallowell. Dr. Hallowell said, “I’ve been trying to explain to people since 1981 that this condition, if you use it properly, is an asset composed of qualities you can’t buy and can’t teach. It’s stigma that holds us back. Stigma plus ignorance. A lethal combination.” I felt that ligh...