I had a huge rat named Max who had enormous balls. One day when I was out in the yard cuddling Max, a ferret ran over to me, and poor Max screamed this bizarrely loud scream with his little rat mouth wide open, and then he bit me. I dropped him, and he ran off, waddling up the driveway as fast as he could with his weirdly large balls bouncing away. I started crying, not because I was hurt but because I thought I’d lost him. “Max! Max!” I sat down on the driveway, sobbing. Max looked over his shoulder at me and came waddling back. I scooped him up in my arms and kissed him and told him I wasn’t
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