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"Cut it out or I’ll call someone down at the station to come arrest you for being a public nuisance.” “Make sure they’re gentle with the cuffs this time.”
“Anything for you.” Three words. Five syllables. One punch to the gut.
“Lana!” I shout. “I missed you!” A man of subtlety, I am not.
“Accidents happen, but getting drunk is a choice.” “You’re right. A bad choice.”
words have meaning, and your actions cheapen them.”
Unlike my father, I’m not a mean drunk, but I am a stupid one who can’t keep his mouth shut.
“What’s a hangover?” And this right here is the reason why I shouldn’t be allowed around kids in the first place. I clear my throat. “It’s when people make bad decisions at night and wake up sick the next day.” Her forehead scrunches. “Like when you eat too much chocolate and get a tummy ache?” “Sure, kid. Just like that.”
you can take your sorry and shove it up your ass along with all the other shit you spew.”
“Thanks.” I stand. “I didn’t do it for you,”
I’m not looking to buy Lana’s forgiveness. I’m looking to buy into her dream, even if she doesn’t anymore.
“I had lost my reason for getting sober in the first place.” Her brows furrow. “What? Money? Hockey? The will to live a normal life?” “You, Lana. I lost you.”
“I don’t resent you. I just want to cut off your airflow and watch your face turn purple every now and then.”
I hate it. I love it. I shouldn’t let it ever happen again.
Self-doubt always rears its ugly head at the worst times, making me wonder if I really have what it takes to be successful. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
the more someone lets you down, the higher probability there is of it happening again.
You’re going to regret this tomorrow. Then I better make the most of tonight.
“Are you trying to avoid any physical contact because you think that will protect you from what’s happening between us?”
“It’s your funeral.” “Then I might as well enjoy my last meal.”
“I hate you,” I grind out as he shoves the vibrator deeper. “No. You hate how I make you feel.”
fuck me or fuck off.”
“I want to stay because you want me here, not because you feel obligated by a request and an orgasm.”
“That’s the thing about falling in love. You don’t exactly expect it to happen until you’re crash landing into someone else’s arms, wondering how the hell you lost the battle against gravity in the first place.”
My ovaries, on the other hand, are living their best life.
I’m the drunk. The washed-up athlete. The man who broke their best friend’s heart. I collected more bad titles than I ever did championships.
“Why are you helping me?” “Because I want what’s best for Alana and Cami, even if it’s you.”
“I have nothing nice to say to you right now.” “Then tell me the not-so-nice things.” “Why?” “Because I’d rather you get angry at me than shut me out. I don’t think I could take that again.”
“Screwing up is inevitable, but I promise to make it up to you every single time.”
He fucks like a man on the brink of madness.
“I don’t deserve you.” “Then become the man who does.”
“You’re not fighting fair.” “I’d rather not fight at all.”
“God.” “You should know better than to call me another man in bed.”
“I had something in my eye.” “What? A reality check?”
I want to triumph. Overcome. Evolve.
“The worst mistake you could have made was underestimating me.”
He can either get his life together or see himself out of mine.”
“Sometimes the best cure is time.”
I’m left alone with my thoughts. What a miserable place to be.
I want to love myself as much as you love me.”
“Is that a dare?” I half-heartedly tease. Her bottom lip wobbles. “No. It’s a reality.”
It makes me both happy and sick at the same time. Happy because I found someone who understands me on a cellular level, and sick because that person has all the power to abuse it.
I dare you to wait for me. The real me. The sober me. The best me who wants to spend the rest of his days getting drunk on life with you.
“What if she doesn’t forgive me?” I voice my fear aloud. She throws her arms around me. “I doubt you’ll stop until she does.”
“Love makes people do selfless things.”
not having access to alcohol isn’t the same as choosing to be sober.
“How was rehab?” “Like a party, except no one wants to be there.” “Sounds like a typical Friday for me.”
I need to care about myself before prioritizing others.”
“Falling in love with yourself is ten times harder than falling in love with someone else,
good old self-doubt, always popping up when I least expect it.
“You’re insane.” “No, Lana, I’m in love. There’s a big difference.”
“We do crazy things for the people we love.”
