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Like everything else he says to me, it’s the truth, just not the whole truth.
There’s a side of him I’ll never understand, and never be fully at peace with. Anae understood that side of him. She embraced it. Embraced all of him, even parts that terrify me, allowed him freedoms I could never bear. And still, he chose me.
He didn’t get to be a hero this time, but he did still save my life.
If Dare would have simply broken up with her and started dating me, there’s literally no reality in which she wouldn’t have killed me. Only this one.
“I fucking love you, Aubrey. Don’t you get that by now? I would kill for you, but I would never hurt a hair on your goddamn head. I have ruined fucking lives to hold onto you, and I’d ruin more. The last thing I want is to lose you.”
It’s a little sick to feel so reassured by that, but maybe that’s what loving him has made me: a little sick.
“You’re mine. You’re fucking mine. It’s forever, and I won’t let anyone get in the way of that.”
I can’t speak, can’t breathe air that isn’t his, too. To be loved so hard, so aggressively… it’s frightening, but intoxicating, too.
“Your lawyer thinks I shouldn’t report you for rape? Damn, what a hot take. I’m gonna need a moment to recover from all this shock.”
never lose your spark, babygirl
You and I both know I’m the asshole here, but if you pursue it and put us on opposite sides of a courtroom, you’re going to get torn apart.”
“I have to pee.” I also have to get away from him before I punch him in the face.
“It isn’t a good idea to invite temptation into our relationship. I will never do it, and I expect you not to as well. I know you were only joking about being sick of me and joking is fine, but should you ever actually get sick of me, I would advise you to reflect on what made you love me in the first place and fucking bathe in it, because I will never, ever let you go.”
I’m sick, so I curl close and kiss him. I play with his hair and touch his beautiful face, and when he whispers how much he loves me, I commit the worst sin of all: I believe him.
“If you’re all she has, you’ll lose pieces of her along the way.”
Hannah gets it
