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His red eyes are shiny with tears in his grease-dark face. He lowers his forehead to mine and only pulls back when gravity returns.
“Glad to see you left a positive impression on young Lune. Taught him all the best ways to slaughter heroes of the Rising.”
“Naw. We’re Pixies. You had Atlas and you let him live. We had Lysander and we let him live. We had Apollonius and we let him live.” He snorts. “It’s like we want to lose.”
I hope I am alive sitting beside you as you watch this. If I am, pour me a whiskey and rub an old man’s back. I deserve it because if I’m alive, I’ve beaten the bastards and you won’t have inherited my war.
No matter how I went, the path led me back to your mother. We loved you, Sevro. With your first breath. With our last.
“If you wish to be repaired, you must first be broken,” I mutter. “What?” “The eleventh understanding.” He rolls his eyes. “When did everyone turn into a gorydamn philosopher?” “When we started losing.”
“Ain’t that all you’re good for? Sniff, sniff, looking for treasure in mounds of the Solar System’s shit,”
So I know there’s two things on the minds of every person in the Core. Is the Reaper dead? And where did that coward Quicksilver sneak off to?”
They ain’t good, not all through, but neither am I, and at least they’re trying to stop the boot from coming down.
They mean well, and the Reaper’s name feeds them power. But they shout for the god while I carry a hollowness inside me the size of the man. It’s lonely. I miss my husband.
When he finds them, he looks up at me with the raw emotion of his father, but without the anger or the pain.
He is my favorite smell, my favorite sound, my favorite sight. He will never know how much I love him because he does not remember the day Darrow and I conceived him, or the months I carried him inside me, or the minute he came into the world, the moment he said his first word or took his first step, or made me laugh for the first time. I remember all those things, and all the things about them. Where the sun lay in the sky, how his father’s eyes sparkled, what I feared in those moments, what I hoped for his life to be.
How ridiculous we must be to wage it when emotions like love run so much deeper in us than hate.
Why do you think Darrow and I are the only assholes who take planets?
I hate her almost as much as I hate myself.
After all, what’s more dangerous than a man who believes his cause is just?” “A woman who believes she is untouchable,” I reply.
It’s a world unto itself. Inscrutable from without except by its seasonal weather patterns. For me it’s autumn. For you, she wants it to be summer, but you seem intent on making it winter.”
Like all other Core Golds, I say one thing and do another. Snipe at Atalantia, sit in her section.
My nausea deepens as I think of Glirastes curled on the floor of a dog kennel, waiting to see if I love him as much as he loves me.
Julia is a menace when she cares to be.