Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (updated with two new chapters)

by Brant Hansen

Colossians 3:8: “But now also put these things out of your life: anger, bad temper, doing or saying things to hurt others, and using evil words when you talk” (NCV).

Amen.

yes, anger may visit us, but when it finds a residence, it’s “in the lap of fools” (Eccl. 7:9). Let that sink in. When anger lives, that’s where it lives: in the lap of a fool.

“Father, forgive them. They don’t know what they’re doing.” A fair question, then: Is that same Jesus, living in and through me, still saying that?

Proverbs 18:17: “The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him” (NKJV).

Oh yes, the heart is deceptive. And that calls for humility above all else, because my heart isn’t deceptive because it fools other people. It’s deceptive because it fools me.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. (Prov. 14:12 ESV)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil. (Prov. 3:5–7 NKJV)

where Paul says to get rid of bitterness, anger, evil speaking,

Be motivated by love. Love for victims, love for bystanders, and even love for our enemies themselves.

“The LORD has told you, human, what is good; he has told you what he wants from you: to do what is right to other people, love being kind to others, and live humbly, obeying your God” (Mic. 6:8 NCV).

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked

“You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it” (Matt. 6:27 NCV).

Naturally, if you love people, you’re going to worry about them. But do you know where constant worry comes from? It’s rooted in an arrogance that assumes, I know the way my life has to go, and God’s not getting it right. Real humility means to relax. Real humility means to laugh at yourself. Real humility means to be self-critical.3

“I’m not going to let people offend me,” is very helpful, and it will make life better.

Jesus turns to His followers and says this about how people will know we belong to Him: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34–35 NKJV; emphasis added).

Love the Lord your God with all you have, and love your neighbor. That sums it all up. That’s how He wants us to live.

It’s remembering that God is my defender, His opinion is what matters, and whatever my offenders are doing to me, I’ve done to others as well. And God has forgiven me. I simply must forgive in return and forfeit my right to anger.

But we don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive because we didn’t deserve it. We forgive because we’ve been forgiven. That’s it. That’s the resource. We forgive as an act of worship. God deserves it.