Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (updated with two new chapters)

by Brant Hansen

The thing that you think makes your anger “righteous” is the very thing you are called to forgive.

I’m not entitled to my anger against them, and I’m not entitled to think I’m entitled to my anger.

When it comes to human motives, deciding why people do the things they do—you know, who’s righteous and who isn’t—we’re actually worse than clueless, because while we’re being clueless, we’re simultaneously under the impression that we’re brilliant.

Yes, the world is broken. But don’t be offended by it. Instead, thank God that He’s intervened in it, and He’s going to restore it.

War is not exceptional; peace is. Worry is not exceptional; trust is. Decay is not exceptional; restoration is. Anger is not exceptional; gratitude is. Selfishness is not exceptional; sacrifice is. Defensiveness is not exceptional; love is. And judgmentalism is not exceptional . . . But grace is.

Ultimately, this is a more restful life. Not just because it might mean some quiet, meditative moments—though they’re wonderful—but because when we surrender control, there’s so much less at stake in life for us.

We have nothing to prove, and when we really believe that, we’ll hardly be quick to anger.

Anger and rest are always at odds. You can’t ha...

Somehow, I took the example of the King of kings, who wanted to be with us so much that He lowered Himself to be born in a barn full of animals and manure, and I thought it meant I was supposed to raise myself above and away from the messy lives of others.

I love what author Mike Yaconelli once wrote: “Christians do not condone unbiblical living; we redeem it.”2

Let’s dispense with one idea at the very start of this chapter: that anger and action are synonymous. Often, we confuse the two, thinking that if we’re not angry about an unjust situation, we’re simply accepting it. That’s completely false.

We’ve so justified anger that we can’t imagine doing the right thing without it.

The myth of “righteous anger” actually impedes the taking of action, because it lets us congratulate ourselves for a feeling, rather than for doing something.

The Bible gives us ample commands to act, and never, ever, says to do it out of anger. Instead, we’re to be motivated by something very different: love, and obedience born of love.

What the world needs, I think you’ll agree, is not a group of people patting themselves on the back for being angry. We need people who actually act to set things right.

The king’s anger does not give the unmerciful servant a valid basis for his own anger.

THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO NOT BE THREATENED BY ANYTHING, AND that’s if you have nothing to lose.

(Maybe this explains why, in Christian bookstores, there are frequently ten times as many books on “leadership” than about following.

I also can’t help but think that if we just responded to things God places in front of us in our lives, and entrusted the visionary role to the Lord Himself, beautiful things could happen.

“There is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it.”1

This is a quote from Dallas Willard.