Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (updated with two new chapters)

by Brant Hansen

It forces us not only to think about humility, but to actually be humble.

God is “allowed” anger, yes. And other things, too, that we’re not, like, say—for starters—vengeance. That’s His, and it makes sense, too, that we’re not allowed vengeance. Here’s one reason why: We stand as guilty as whoever is the target of our anger. But God? He doesn’t.

In the moment, everyone’s anger always seems righteous.

But an emotion is just an emotion. It’s not critical thinking.

We’re flat-out told to forgive, even—especially!—the very stuff that’s understandably maddening and legitimately offensive.

Grace isn’t for the deserving.

Anger is extraordinarily easy. It’s our default setting.

Love is very difficult. Love is a miracle.

Are we to cling to anger at their sin? God took out His wrath on Jesus for other people’s sin. And I believe Jesus suffered enough to pay for it, and my sin too. I’m so thankful for that. He will deal with others’ sins; it’s not my deal.

And we can see where choosing “unoffendability” frees us to love people in risky but profound ways.

We can risk loving people—incredibly difficult, insulting people—because He loves us.

Perhaps a big part of being less offendable is seeing the human heart for what it is: Untrustworthy. Unfaithful. Prone to selfishness. Got it. Now we don’t have to be shocked.

When you see, in the midst of all this mess, beautiful glimpses of God’s kingdom, defined by love, breathe it in.

When you’re living in the reality of the forgiveness you’ve been extended, you just don’t get angry with others easily.

don’t expect people who aren’t believers to act like followers of Jesus.

My goal with relationships is no longer to try to change people. It’s to introduce people to a God who is already reaching toward them, right where they are.

Don’t condemn the culture; redeem

The Bible gives us ample commands to act, and never, ever, says to do it out of anger. Instead, we’re to be motivated by something very different: love, and obedience born of love.

Ideally, however, the church itself is not made up of natural “friends.” It is made up of natural enemies. What binds us together is not common education, common race, common income levels, common politics, common

nationality, common accents, common jobs, or anything of the sort. Christians come together, not because they form a natural collocation, but because they have been saved by Jesus Christ and owe him a common allegiance. In the light of this common allegiance, in light of the fact that they have all been loved by Jesus himself, they commit themselves to doing what he says—and he commands them to love one another. In this light, they are a band of natural enemies who love one another for Jesus’ sake.1

Rules bring wisdom into our lives. They help us live better. They spare us from pain. But rules don’t change anyone’s heart, ever. Grace does.