Bring Me Back

by Kristen Granata

His eyes drop to his lap. “You really like these love stories?” “I do. It’s an escape from reality, even if there isn’t a love out there like that for me.”

“Love can be scary, but I think it’s always worth it in the end, regardless of how it turns out. It’s better to be full of love than full of… nothing.” “Even if you end up with nothing in the end?” I nod. “Even if you end up with nothing. At least you had something. I wouldn’t take back the years I had with my father. I’d rather the memories than to never have known him at all.”

“You can’t bear the weight of that responsibility. All you can do is try. You try, and you help, and you make a difference to so many people. But you can’t save them all.”

“Your thoughts, and your choices, and your actions. Only you. So, at the end of the day, when you lay your head down on that pillow, you should be proud of the man you are because you’ve done your best and given your all to everyone you meet, no matter the outcome.”

“You might not feel like a phoenix, but I’m starting to think you’re my phoenix.”

“Maybe not, but you can sure as fuck give her a reason to want to live.” His chest heaves. “You can be that reason for her. You can help make her life worth living.”

“Don’t live your lives in fear or in sorrow. She wouldn’t want that for you. Live your life like every day is your fucking last, boys. Dream big, take chances, and love with all you’ve got.” Dad sniffles before he finishes. “Live your life for Mom, not as a hollow result of what she did.”

“You shared a piece of yourself with me, and I don’t want you to think that I’m only interested in the good parts. I want to see all of you. I want the broken, jagged pieces, the ones you think are ugly and ruined, the ones you hide from everyone else—especially those. I want to be the one you can trust your heart with.”

“But you’re worth that fear, because I don’t want to go back to living my life without you in it. These past few days without you have been hell. Not a moment goes by that I’m not consumed by thoughts of you. And no, Phoenix. I don’t want to be friends with you. That’s the last fucking thing I want. I can’t imagine a worse torture than being just friends with the woman who haunts my dreams every night.”

“But you don’t always lose it. Love doesn’t always end in tragedy.”