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Cancer can go fuck itself.
I think that’s why Dad left this shore house to me. He knew I’d need it one day. Somehow, he knew this could be my safe haven.
Everything might look the same, but everything is different.
You’re not going to have all the answers on day one, so tell your anxiety to fuck right off.”
When your mind is occupied, you don’t have time to think or wallow in despair.
I stan the House of Stark, after all, and winter is coming.
Music has a way of making me feel as if I’m not alone in my pain because there’s someone out there who feels as much as I do.
The lyrics articulate the things I can’t bring myself to admit to anyone, sometimes not even myself, and for those few minutes, it heals my broken soul.
“And where does being selfless get you, James? Tell me, how’s that Captain America bullshit working out for you?”
You don’t fight for the shit you couldn’t care less about. You only fight for the people you love, and the things that matter. James loves his brother very much.
“You know, you’re lucky to have a family who worries about you, and actually fucking cares about your well-being.”
“Look at me like that again, and I’ll make the beating your brother gave you last night feel like a tickle fight.”
Life isn’t so black and white. I think we’re all a little fucked up, and it doesn’t mean we’re bad people. You can’t lump us into the same category as the Ted Bundy’s of the world.”
“People resort to drugs because they’re in pain.”
The pain is always there.
“We all carry around the weight of our traumas and try to survive. We do what we have to in order to cope.” I glance up at the night sky. “It’s not us who’s fucked up. Life is fucked up.”
“Because I know what it feels like to have no one.”
“And if you tell me to just relax, I’m going to kick you in your balls.”
“It’s as if we didn’t already think of relaxing. Like yes, Martha, thank you for that very helpful advice. The next time immense, uncontrollable fear seizes my body, my lungs constrict, and I stop inhaling oxygen, I’ll be sure to remind myself to fucking relax. What a revelation.”
He scratches the back of his neck as his eyes trail down my body. “I mean, you’re perfect.”
She’s alone. So, I watch her until she lies down and cries herself to sleep. I’m with her in this moment, even if she doesn’t know it.
He nods and then swipes the excess sauce from the corner of my mouth with his thumb. Instead of wiping it on a napkin, he licks it off his finger. And I feel that one gentle lick all the way between my legs. This shouldn’t be the single most erotic moment in my life, yet here I am, panting like a dog in heat.
“I’m kind of a runt like you in a lot of ways. Sometimes I think we’re not made for a world like this.”
“When you have darkness inside you, it helps you recognize darkness in others.”
“We all need saving every once in a while.”
Regardless of what you’ve been through, you’re still standing. That seems pretty damn strong to me.”
“Love can be scary, but I think it’s always worth it in the end, regardless of how it turns out. It’s better to be full of love than full of… nothing.”
Most people don’t mean to hurt us when they do.”
“Because you matter to me.”
“Some of us can’t be saved, no matter how hard you try.”
“You’re in control of you,” she whispers. “Your thoughts, and your choices, and your actions. Only you.
“You might not feel like a phoenix, but I’m starting to think you’re my phoenix.”
“Sometimes people cry when they’re really, really happy.”
He lifts my fingers and sucks my chocolate-covered thumb into his mouth, keeping his eyes locked on mine as his lips wrap around it. His warm tongue skates over my skin, and wetness pools between my legs.
I want to be the one you can trust your heart with.”
“Honestly, I’m scared shitless. I’m scared of what’ll happen to me if I let you all the way in. I’m scared to lose you. I’m scared that I won’t be enough to make you want to live. I’m scared I’ll find you the way I found my mother.”
I can’t imagine a worse torture than being just friends with the woman who haunts my dreams every night.”
“I yearn for you. My fingers itch to reach out and touch you. My tongue craves your taste. I want you on me, your hair surrounding me, your scent filling my lungs.” He pulls me close, and his lips speak against mine as he says, “I ache for you everywhere. It takes all of my willpower not to devour you whenever we’re together.”
Because I’ll be here to bring you back from the darkness.”
“She could’ve moved the fuck over and shared that door with Jack. Titanic doesn’t count. Rose was an asshole.”
“Never refer to Dad’s dick again.”
“I know you said you didn’t like the ending of my book, but I like the last line, ‘Surely, someday she would find him.’ I’ve been drifting through my life these past several years, like I was wandering a desolate island after a shipwreck. I didn’t know if I’d ever find love, or if anyone was out there for me. Then you walked into my life—albeit with a baseball bat—and you found me. Everything clicked. It’s like our paths were meant to cross, like everything we’ve endured has been for the sake of something bigger. “You make me incredibly happy, and I will give you everything I have in me to
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You look at things the way your brain presents them to you, and it’s not the way life actually is. That’s the reason so many of us don’t make it. It’s impossible to overcome when you don’t have the proper help. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and cuddly puppies. Those things do exist, but in a dark tunnel when all you can see are dark clouds, pain, and despair, it makes life seem hopeless. We need to hold on to hope, hold on to the possibility that things can get better. We need to take hold of the power we possess and take control of the demons wreaking havoc in our brains. Talk to
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Stop making ourselves the victims in our own lives, and start being the warriors we are. Depression will always be there, lurking and waiting for the right moment to rear its ugly head. Instead of hating myself for it and trying to hide it, I’ve made the darkness a part of me. It’s not a flaw or something I need to be ashamed of. It just is, the way my hair is brown and my laugh is loud. It’s who I am and what makes me the person I am today. But it no longer consumes me.
