The Art of Self-Therapy: How to Grow, Gain Self-Awareness, and Understand Your Emotions (The Path to Calm Book 8)

by Nick Trenton

Not only does self-awareness make you happier, more resilient, and more accepting of who you are, it also allows you to live authentically and create a life that is right for you.

So what exactly is self-exploration?

“taking a look at your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and motivations and asking why. It’s looking for the roots of who we are.”

“What do I notice about myself right now?”

WHO ARE YOU?

But we cannot even begin to answer the question until we have something crucial: self-awareness.

Step 1: Switch on Your “Inner Noticer”

Step 2: Notice Any Problematic Situations?

Not only does self-awareness make you happier, more resilient, and more accepting of who you are, it also allows you to live authentically and create a life that is right for you

Step 3: Notice the Strongest Emotions and Where They Lead

In fact, become most curious about the strongest, most difficult, or most uncomfortable emotions.

exactly is self-exploration?

“taking a look at your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and motivations and asking why. It’s looking for the roots of who we are.”

The idea is that if you can understand why you do something, you empower yourself to do something different. If you don’t truly understand what is going on in your heart and mind, you only have a dim hope of fulfilling your potential, overcoming obstacles, or connecting fully with others in your relationships.

Step 4: Try to Notice Any Emergin...

“What do I notice about myself right now?”

Step 5: What is the underlying core belief, value, or theme behind this emotion?

The magic of self-awareness is this ability to see the overarching patterns and themes that are playing out in your life.

You’ve become aware of all the surface details; now, what is the bigger underlying theme that brings them all together? In what ways are all the separate issues you’re experiencing alike?

Step 1: Switch on Your “Inner Noticer”

Step 6: Use Your Insights to Identify Your Boundaries, Then Take Control

Step 2: Notice Any Problematic Situations?

Once you’ve gained greater insight into your problem, there’s one of two ways forward:

Identify the external cause of the problem and take responsibility for acting, given what we know Identify the inner cause of the problem (i.e., us!) and take responsibility for that, whether that means changing our thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

As you can see, in both options, we need to own up to our portion of the problem and take responsibility for acting in our own best interests. After all, self-awareness that doesn’t lead to any concrete changes in the real world is not much more than navel-gazing!

Then, you rehearse a mantra: “I’m competent and capable, and I’m doing the best I can. I am proud of myself.”

Step 3: Notice the Strongest Emotions and Where They Lead

In fact, become most curious about the strongest, most difficult, or most uncomfortable emotions.

Step 4: Try to Notice Any Emerging Connections

This is why it’s so important to start with awareness and self-exploration as the first step.

What images, ideas, thoughts, or memories seem to most often be connected with the strong emotion? What strengthens these emotions and what seems to make them fade? Can you connect this experience or emotion with something similar in the past? If there are many situations that produce this emotion, what do those situations have in common? What connects them?

Step 5: What is the underlying core belief, value, or theme behind this emotion?

The magic of self-awareness is this ability to see the overarching patterns and themes that are playing out in your life.

You’ve become aware of all the surface details; now, what is the bigger underlying theme that brings them all together? In what ways are all the separate issues you’re experiencing alike?

Step 6: Use Your Insights to Identify Your Boundaries, Then Take Control

Once you’ve gained greater insight into your problem, there’s one of two ways forward:

Identify the external cause of the problem and take responsibility for acting, given what we know Identify the inner cause of the problem (i.e., us!) and take responsibility for that, whether that means changing our thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

As you can see, in both options, we need to own up to our portion of the problem and take responsibility for acting in our own best interests. After all, self-awareness that doesn’t lead to any concrete changes in the real world is not much more than navel-gazing!

Then, you rehearse a mantra: “I’m competent and capable, and I’m doing the best I can. I am proud of myself.”

This is why it’s so important to start with awareness and self-exploration as the first step.

there’s a sneaky phenomenon called projection, in which we end up incorrectly ascribing to others the feelings and thoughts we ourselves have but have disowned and relegated to the shadow.

In this way, what we are unconscious of can harm us. It can threaten our relationships, jeopardize our work, and weaken our potential. It can also leave us confused, immature, and fragile people who lack wisdom and self-knowledge.

According to Jung, we improve our lives and heal when we integrate the shadow.

what you don’t want to do is continue to judge and condemn the “bad” parts of yourself—after

Instead, we need to be curious, compassionate, and open-minded.

To engage our shadow, we need a few things: Patience A genuinely accepting and nonjudgmental attitude Honesty The willingness to be brave enough to face things we don’t like about ourselves

The shadow can hide from awareness, but it often shows itself as judgment of others, or strong and disproportionate reactions that don’t quite fit the situation at hand.

It’s a good idea to become aware of anything that seems to “push your buttons” and cause a reaction that is bigger than it should be.

What bothers you in others is often something you’ve disowned in yourself!

(hint: to the extent you judge them, you also