Forget Me Not

by Julie Soto

“You’re right,” I say softly. “One day, I’ll know what it’s like to have four weddings in one day. One day, I’ll understand what it’s like to book up so quickly that I forget the conversation I had two days ago.” I nod, a smile curling my lips. “Because I’m coming, Whitney. I’m on my way up, and nothing you do to sabotage my business is going to stop me. I’m worth ten of you. I’ve always been worth ten of you, and you were right to fear me moving in on your market.”

“Good. You’re…you’re so special, Elliot.” Tears prick behind my eyes. “And I can’t ever thank you enough for getting this wedding up on its feet today. You’ve always told me that I need more help, but I really thought I had this one under control.”

He smiles at me. And it’s the first time I’ve seen it directed toward me since—since he asked me to marry him. My heart hurts with the absence of it. I miss him so much even when I’m near him. I can hear his words to Jackie beating against my skull, and I don’t know if he knows that I heard. But I did hear.

“I love you. Elliot, I…I do.”

If I’m opposed to marriage, does that mean I’m also opposed to being together for as long as we both shall live? Forever with Elliot feels different from any other kind of forever I’ve thought of. It feels soft and inviting. It feels like warm baths and Sunday mornings and flowers with perfect-shaped petals.

I could ask him if I could have forever without a white dress and a piece of paper.

“No. No, he proposed last time.” “And what did that kiss mean if not a proposal, Ama?”

“What do you want? If there were no consequences to your actions, what would you want?” “To be with him,”

“I kissed you because I miss you. Because I still want you.” My heart pounds, and I watch him swallow but remain still. “Because I shouldn’t have left your mother’s wedding, and I shouldn’t have given you the gift of the Franklinia and then made you feel like we weren’t even close to talking about forever. Because we were. We were forever. I just didn’t want a marriage.”

“I wasn’t ready. You were my first relationship, and I’ve grown up knowing that you don’t only get one. But…I only want one.”

Waking up in the morning and counting every moment backward. Three years, four months, two weeks, and two days since our first kiss. Three years, two months, and two days since I first slept over. Two years, nine months, one week, and one day since I made a huge mistake.

She needs me again. She wants me again. And I’ve never stopped loving her.

“Who were you talking about to Jackie?” she asks, whispering. Her gaze flickers over my face. I step forward and reach out to brush my fingers over her jaw. She leans into me. “Someone I met five years, four months, three weeks, and five days ago.”

This time when we kiss, it doesn’t feel like goodbye, or a mistake, or something to overthink in the morning. It’s just…starting.

“It’s…It was never about extinction. The tattoos…” He blows out his air. “They’re ones that I—that I can’t have. Ones that can’t be used in arrangements, can’t be kept in the shop.” He looks up to me. “Ones that are likely to disappear before I can love them.”

“I’m just so mad that you thought you could walk in here, propose, and tell me you love me.” He smiles, his nose brushing against my cheek. “Things don’t really change, do they?” I say. “I’ve always done whatever I wanted in this back room.” He brushes my hair over my ear. “That’s why I love you.”

I love a good proposal story, but my favorite one I’ve heard? Well, I’ll let you know when he says yes.